The Toughest Marathon of My Life

It was only ONE year ago......

2011-11-01T12:20:00.000-07:00

Next week will mark my one year anniversary since the end of my chemo treatment. It was only one year ago that I was in Northampton at Dr. Mullally's office with that chemo dripping in my arm. I packed up my computers, my books, my iPad, my Nano and Steve drove me to the office. I had just finished the Chicago marathon a couple weeks prior and I was smiling from that success. I had printed out a photo of me in the Wonder Woman outfit and Cara as BatGirl - put it in a frame for the Doc.... he has placed it in a prime location right above the chair where I regularly received my chemo.

It was only a year ago - I was bald and wearing my blonde wig trying to fool everyone around me that I bleached my hair and was trying to look young! Or so I remember that lady commenting behind my back... I had no eye brows, no eye lashes, but I had a smile a mile wide because I was so loved by my husband, my family and friends. I remember all the self portraits I took during that time and am glad I did because I really didn't feel very well. It was the last week of treatment and I felt like celebrating - although wine didn't taste very good... so we curled up and went to sleep early most nights.

We took a photo of us with the doc in the office after waking up from my treatment, as it was a norm that I fell asleep near the end and just got cozy with a blanket and pillow in my favorite chair with the smiling nurses checking on me every once in a while to be sure I was still feeling ok. :)

My hair is finally growing back to "almost ponytail" length -- and it is a nice brown color with a little curl to it. Much more curl than I have ever had before. Although chemo wasn't the end of my "treatment" having my spleen removed at the end of February would really be the official end -- this is a truly monumental time for me.

My recovery from the Chicago marathon --- and then to finish treatment. That was all that was going on in my mind at the time. :) Yay! HUGE accomplishments!

Fast forward to today.... in 4 days I toe the line for my 24th marathon in New York City. I have never run the NYC marathon before and it will be quite the amazing adventure! Ramon from DNation asked me to speak for the Friday night dinner so we are headed down on Friday. Then staying with our friend Tabi who we know from Mount Snow. It is supposed to be 50's and tail wind -- yahoo!

Info for NYC - Bib
11368

Blue Wave#1 Corral#1111/6/2011 9:40:00 AM

Drum roll please!!!! My total amount raised for DetermiNation is $1550 for this event and I am so thankful to all my donors! I had 2 friends that gave $200 plus and the last donation was 206.50 to put me right at the $1500 mark. My grand total for all 6 DetermiNation events I have raised money to support the American Cancer Society is $9283.80 ! Yay! Today was the day that the group of INGNYC DNation runners reached the $1 million dollar mark! An incredible feat of passion in the fight against cancer -- raising money so there will be less cancer and more birthdays! Coming from a girl who LOVES her birthday --- celebrating life -- this means so much to me! So excited to meet all the other runners when we get down there on Friday.

Tapering has been crazy this week with the freak snow storm that came to town. 2 feet of heavy wet snow that has destroyed trees, falling down on wires, cables and into the roads in our area. We have been without power for 3 days--- no water for showers that is readily available (we only run the generator for small periods of time to keep the food from spoiling). So I haven't been running much -- got to get out more in the end of the week if life gets back to normal at all. This storm has truly brought our neighborhood together -- looking out for one another, helping people with clearing trees, and sharing the warmth. I feel ready for New York -- strong, happy, healthy and thankful.

After all - it is that time of the year we remember to be thankful -- although after having cancer, I am so incredibly thankful ALL YEAR ROUND!

Steve & I celebrating our 4th wedding anniversarynumber and start time:

"Celebrate, Remember, Fight Back!"

It is not too late to donate --- I am working hard to hit that $10,000 mark - so please if you can help support my efforts in the fight against cancer it truly means the world to me... more than ever.
Nancy's DetermiNation NYC marathon website

Thank you!
Please leave a comment if you stop by!

Vermont 50 miler - It's all about Survival

2011-09-14T09:23:00.000-07:00

It was mentioned somewhere in my reading about ultra marathons, that when it gets to these long miles it really isn't about the "racing", it is about survival. It struck me as amazing that after one year and a few months since diagnosis that I am embarking on a new journey, a 50 mile run / race - that will challenge my soul once again.

I found this quote today while reading on the web -- it is so appropriate for my state of mind right now:

Some day you won't be able to do this anymore, today is not that day' - Anonymous

It has been a 'crazy' year and I think back quite often to the challenges that I faced during my diagnosis, treatment and now recovery. I lumped it all in the same experience and pushed myself to run Chicago, then Boston, now this 50 miler on the Vermont trails and mountains.... It was all blurred together, recovery from each treatment, building up my white blood cells to get slammed again. I remember it all too well in fact. I refused to sit down, I ran, I trained - set my goals - completed those 2 marathons with a HUGE smile on my face. And now am so proud to look back and see what I accomplished. :)

DetermiNation is a big word in my vocabulary these days. I am proud to be a runner. I am proud to be running faster than ever. I have some marathon milestones accomplished through some big challenges to share... I am reminded of all of this in prep for the VT50 and looking back at the 26 marathons I have completed.

2002 - Boston Marathon 6 months post partum. Schuyler was born on 10/10/01 by way of C-section. Losing that baby fat, healing from the C Section --- all quite challenging indeed. In addition living in New Hampshire at the time it was tough to get out there training in the winter months for an April marathon. I had waived my entry (back when it was allowed to waive) - because of my pregnancy. It was a "slow" Boston for me (4;20) -- but I finished and ran right to my baby boy. Very cool indeed.

2007 - Boston Marathon during my D time... the divorce years were tough (so worth it once I found the man of my dreams!) and I focused on my running early, late and whenever I needed a break. It was the determination of an athlete to get through the tough times in your life. The best thing about my 2007 race was my result surprised me --- I flew! 3:05 was the time.... I was 7th master in the year that they were going to cancel for a Noreaster that was predicted. Wow.

2010 - Chicago Marathon - There were plenty of "nay-sayers" that were in disbelief when I told them I would run Chicago after being diagnosed with stage 4 diffuse large B cell lymphoma. I was a runner. It was how I managed stress, life balance, self confidence and more. It was a part of my healing ---- to run --- every day if I could (which I couldn't during treatment week) and I did take plenty of days off. But I stuck to my goal of running that marathon, figured I would walk if I had to.... supported by SO many people. My friend Cara running beside me as BatGirl - introducing me as Wonder Woman to all as we ran - sharing my story of survival -- 2/3 of the way through chemotherapy. Tingly feet & hands, a little sick to my stomach (love my ginger people!) - but I did it. 3:57 (a BQ for me!) was our finish time. Yay!

2011 Boston Marathon - It's not over until it is OVER .... so the docs thought they found more cancer and said that the best thing to do is to remove my spleen. But .... I was signed up and running Boston... raising money for the 5th DetermiNation campaign in less than 3 years, and darn it! Stupid cancer was not going to foil my plans again. I built up my miles previous to the surgery - knowing I would need some time off... so I piled on those miles (55 plus for 3 weeks) - and then surgery --- and then Boston bound! My Dream Team was there -- my hair was coming back ---- I finished that marathon in 3:30:27 (29 min faster than my BQ time).

So today here I am ready to run a 50 miler. Ready to pour it on in the mud, trails, hills and back woods of Vermont. The early start --- maybe a 10 hour day? Maybe a 9 hour day? Maybe faster? I just know that I am built to survive -- I am determined! 11 days and counting.... VT50 here I come! It is all about survival and I am a SURVIVOR! :)

You can see what I have accomplished in the past --- I think I am ready! What do you think? Please leave a comment below! :) Thanks for stopping in!

Yes I am a DetermiNator!

2011-08-22T12:24:00.000-07:00

Recently I was asked to write about why I run and raise money for the American Cancer Society through the DetermiNation program. As a crazy Relayer (a person dedicated to Relay For Life through work & volunteerism) --- my work with the ACS has me promoting the Relay experience on a daily basis - and yes I do bleed "purple" and drink the Kool Aid quite often. It is "cult-like" to be in the Relay Family and it feels real good to meet others all over the world that are passionate about making a difference by raising the much needed funds to fight cancer, walking around the track, celebrating survivors, caregivers and the memory of those we may have lost. Through my experiences at Relay and building this passion and it was about time that I share my passion of running with my passion for fighting cancer. I knew about the Charity Runner program, and looked forward to seeing what I could accomplish by dedicating my marathons to a cause & organization that I believe in.

The American Cancer Society Charity Runner program began in Illinois and my friend / colleague Ann has spearheaded the efforts of promotion and building up the nationwide support of this avenue for raising funds to fight cancer through ACS. I admire her energy and leadership to bring this forward to more events across the country. It has been amazing to watch it grow! Now with the name DetermiNation it truly hits home to the endurance runners everywhere that are out there DETERMINED to find a cure! Look out --- ACS has now signed up one Determined lady!

Because I am a crazy runner --- 4 Ironman triathlons and more than 20 marathons under my belt -- I had some great marathon finishes behind me before I transformed into a DetermiNator. :)

So you ask Why DetermiNation?
I love to run.
I love to compete.
I love setting goals and SMASHING them to pieces!
I love marathons --- ok it can be quite draining and sometimes agonizing to have to dig so deep to push yourself for 26.2 miles, but the amazing endorphins you build up to carry you (AKA: Runner High) to the finish and the pride of wearing that finisher medal compares to nothing else.
I love medals. I love to win. I love feeling like a crazy runner - when people don't understand you because you just can't stop running, training and sign up for yet another marathon.

I love to make a difference. I love to show others that being a strong athlete can also be a platform for advocating for better healthcare, better treatments, more research and tools for making a better quality of life for anyone who faces this disease.

So after my 3rd DetermiNation marathon which happened to be Boston, I had signed up to do Chicago, again as a DetermiNator --- and was diagnosed with diffuse Large B Cell lymphoma. And for some crazy reason - it just made me want to run more, show everyone that cancer would NOT beat me. No way.... and on top of that I am going to bring more attention to the fact that I am fighting cancer, not only in my chemo treatments, but out there training for the Chicago marathon and raising the funds for the American Cancer Society. It feels even more powerful to train as a cancer survivor - to show others the strength and determination it takes to be in the best shape and hit all my goals!

Sharing the entire history below -- links to each story on my blog with each experience if you really want a good read.... :)

My first ACS DetermiNation event was VT City in Burlington Vermont - May 2009
Raised - $1340
3:19:59 - 216th overall place of 2119 competitors
21st woman - 4th in age

My second ACS DetermiNation event was Marine Corps Marathon in DC - November 2009
Newspaper article in the Republican about me in the MCM
Raised $1100
3:16:07
1st place in age - Master Woman

My third ACS DetermiNation event was the Boston Marathon - April 2010
Raised $1560

3:23:17- 7.46 min/mile

5291 overall - 712 woman - Overall- 41th master!

My fourth ACS DetermiNation event was the Chicago Marathon - October 2010
Raised $1800
3:57;58 - 7807 overall of 36,088- 1974 woman of 16,142 and I was 135 in age
*NOTE - I was 2/3 of the way through my chemo treatments on 10/10/10

My fifth ACS DetermiNation event was the Boston Marathon - April 2011
Raised $1933.80
3:30:27 (8:02 min/mile) - 7816 overall of , 1445 woman of 10,074, 101 in age group out of 1597 in 45-49 age
*NOTE: This marathon was 6 weeks after the removal of my spleen in order for a biopsy to be done in case of more cancer.
More Boston statistics

My sixth ACS DetermiNation event will be the ing New York City Marathon - November 2011
Goal: $1500 Currently raised: $852

Total (in less than 3 years!) = $8587.80

Hope to hit the $10,000 mark soon! PLEASE help me spread the word we can fight this disease! Here is the link to my donation page for the ing NYCM with more of my story.

You can help me make my goal and you can make a difference too. Thank you so much for reading my story of strength and DetermiNation. As long as I am running marathons I will be a part of this DetermiNator team!

My Fundraising Tips?

1. Ask - if you don't ask they can't give

2. No could mean - not now - don't be afraid to ask again

3. Thank everyone that gives immediately - amazing the repeat donors when you treat them right!

4. Thank people publicly so others see it and may want to donate too!

5. Keep it up front and visible with the link everywhere so people know where to go to make a donation.

6. Share your story - keep it real

7. Thank people even when they say no.

8. Communicate to everyone and keep them engaged in your training, your campaign to raise funds and to be connected to the efforts all around

9. Ask again! - count down your days till the big race and include how much money you have raised and how much to get to your goal.

10. Celebrate with everyone that you touch through your outreach -- your completing the marathon or endurance event is something that they want to hear about and feel a special part of - so don't forget to share your results!

Above photo is of me at the Big Fourth in Springfield MA on July 4, 2011 -- I was 3rd woman overall and ran a PR 5K with a 19:56. 6:20 minutes per mile. Very proud of myself that day! :)

Until we find a cure.

Almost Heaven

2011-07-19T06:28:00.000-07:00

We had such an amazing vacation at Mt Hood last week. 10 glorious days of cool Oregon weather. Waking up early to catch the chair at 7 am - the lifts close at 1 pm because it gets so warm. It is a ski racing meca. They salt the slopes each morning and hope that the clouds (fog) doesn't settle in because it limits visibility so much you can't ski. We were "fogged" out on Tuesday. One day off to visit the wineries and waterfalls in the region on Monday. This is the first of my sharing of my fave photos from our trip.

The mountain in the distance you can see directly from the "Magnificent Mile" (the mile long chair ride to the top of Mt Hood) is Mt Jefferson. My zoom allowed me to get these amazing shots all week!

The name of this one is "Almost Heaven". I entered it in the MoreBirthdays art contest with the inspiration of guiding cancer patients through every step of their journey. It was 1 year ago today that I was diagnosed with cancer. It was the beginning of July and we had reservations to go and participate in the Peak Performance Ski Racing Camp at Mt Hood. We had to cancel those plans because of the fast growing cancer inside of me. It was quite the journey - as this blog has shared my steps along the way. The programs and guidance of the American Cancer Society kept me informed, helped me to advocate for my care, educated me whenever I had questions and bottom line made for the best experience that I could have in treatment of my cancer. This and the all the people that were there for me whenever I needed them, the gifts, the cards, the love that I felt from all my family, friends and colleagues.

Almost heaven --- after making it through CAT scans, PET scans, blood tests (they all sound small but are all so stressful - not knowing what is in store). 4 months of chemotherapy, needles, drugs, nausea, exhaustion, weight loss, losing my hair, my eyebrows, and feeling like total crap. Wigs and my favorite pirate cap are some of my fun memories. Speaking on stage about my journey to inspire others.... running.... racing... kicking it in whenever I could ..... running 2 marathons (and pretty fast if I say so myself!) --- the second one sans my spleen. It all seems like a crazy dream right now with my curly brown hair coming in (not gray - yay!) and running a 19:56 5K to win 3rd place and a pair of sneakers at a local race in Springfield, MA.

Then to finally make it to the top of that mountain - Mt. Hood. To race GS, to ski the glacier with my family, to get through those slalom gates without getting smacked in the face and actually look pretty good! :) This is another step in my journey to share the sweet feeling of the view from where I stand. The glorious mountains of Oregon. I am so happy to share these photos with you. More than you can imagine......

Live each day

Love

Look to the horizon
See it

and Feel

Almost Heaven

View of Mt Jefferson from the top of Mt Hood

Please leave a comment if you stop by!

Quabog Relay For Life - Honorary Chair - Survivor Speaker - MY NOTES

2011-06-24T14:20:00.000-07:00

I am honored to be the Honorary Chair of the American Cancer Society Relay For Life of Quabog Valley in Belchertown, MA. Here are my notes for my speech from last night. :)

My COMMUNITY

Relay is about a community that takes up the fight - the fight against cancer.

This is my community - and I want to thank you all for being here and taking up the fight, the fight against this terrible disease that affects so many and raising the dollars for the advancements in cancer research that make the treatments possible for so many like me to survive cancer.

The FIGHT

I have been fighting for this disease as staff for the American Cancer Society for more than 15 years, but never knew what all this really meant until last year --- it was at this Relay --- I was taking photos of the teams, the survivor lap, the smiling faces of all of you walking the track -- fighting cancer in our community.

I HAVE CANCER
Then that next week that in Dr. Levheim's office just around the corner from here --- she told us that it looks like I have cancer. I was hearing those words "YOU HAVE CANCER". We left the office armed with appointments, doctor recommendations, insurance follow up, and onward, fighting like so many stories I had heard from cancer survivors at Relay. It was scary, no fun at all to say the least. After going to Mass General for a specialist opinion and Cooley Dickinson for my PET scan we had a diagnosis and a plan. We were going to fight this thing - stage 4 diffuse large B cell lymphoma - and the prognosis was good. 4 months of chemo, 3 trips to Boston - a nasty treatment of methatrexate….. Lost my hair, decided to go blonde, endured the drugs, the side effects making the most out of each and every day…. . The PET scan in November showed something more and the docs said the best route was to remove my spleen. If I don't need it - take it! The whole thing really did slow me down mind you…. But I still ran the Chicago marathon in October (2/3 through treatment) and then Boston (6 weeks after spleen removal)… looking back it sounds like a whirl wind! My friends called me Wonder Woman and I have the photos of me in costume!

“No one can hold you back from doing all the things you want to do. Just keep your goals in sight, listen to your body and take one day at a time. Some days will be better than others, but every day is a blessing. - so make each day the best it can be. "

CELEBRATE

Now - it hasn't been a year yet, but no cancer is showing on my latest scans

Time to celebrate life - I am here to celebrate with all of you...

Celebrate with my caregivers - my amazing sweet husband, my fun loving active 10 year old son, riding motorcycles with our son Stephen & Samantha now living in Boston
It IS all about HOPE... and once you have HOPE
you can share HOPE and if you inspire others, they can in turn inspire you."

Let's Relay!

Mass Appeal - TV segment

2011-06-14T17:08:00.000-07:00

I was recently asked to appear on Channel 22 Mass Appeal, a daytime show that highlights human interest stories and events. We were promoting Relay For Life upcoming events for Hampshire County and Quabog Region. I met Madelyn, who is the co-chair of the Northampton event in the waiting area. It was pretty interesting meeting the highlighted events, promotions and watching the 3 stages set up as the cameras moved from one area to the other while the co-hosts bounced between stages.

Seth Stutman was our host that would be interviewing us and Ashley was the other host that was doing other pieces. They were a cute pair -- funny, energetic and happy! :) Seth was hilarious and had a great sense of humor. We played right along. Soon it was our time to get in the couches and miked up near the end of the show. Below I share the link / imbed the video for you to see. I think it went well, and I look pretty good (my hair is getting longer - yay!) Check it out!

Relay for Life in Western Mass: wwlp.com

A photo from the set where they were showing recipes raising money for Girl Scouts "Fork it Over"

A great photo of Madelyn and I at the station :)

Castleton State College Magazine- Wonder Woman highlight!

2011-05-20T10:09:00.000-07:00

Last spring I communicated with my alma mater Castleton State College on my recent challenge with my upcoming Boston marathon after my lymphoma diagnosis. I sent them the same interview info I shared with the ACS and then to my surprise this week a friend alerted me to this amazing article featuring my story. A wonderful piece that I am so thankful to share with all of you. Brought tears to my eyes reading it and just feeling the support of so many of you all over and thankful for my family and friends once again!

"HOPE" for Relay For Life Fight Back Ceremony

2011-05-13T13:57:00.000-07:00

I wrote this for a Relay that I could not appear in person. They asked me to write my story in order to present it at their "Fight Back" Ceremony. I wrote it in 3rd person. Hope you like it. :) Please leave a message if you stop by!

Hope.

It IS all about HOPE... and once you have HOPE
you can share HOPE and if you inspire others, they can in turn inspire you."

  These words are from a woman in Western Mass, a woman that I heard speak last fall when she was in the middle of treatment for Stage 4 diffuse large Bcell lymphoma. Her words rang loud and clear for all of us in the room at this special Relay For Life Summit.
She shared her experience of hearing those words… “you have cancer” She shared the experience of her treatment, her fantastic doctors & nurses She shared how she finds strength, in people like you and me, people that Relay, people that care enough to fight back against cancer and support the mission of the American Cancer Society.

We support our cancer survivors in our community.
This woman, Nancy, in the fall she ran the Chicago marathon 2/3 of the way through treatment in a Wonder Woman costume with a time of 3:57. That was amazing! But was more amazing is the inspiration she has given to others that are surviving cancer, caregivers to those survivors and to all those that may hear those words… “you have cancer” Then after the possibility of more cancer they removed her spleen at the end of February. She ran the Boston Marathon 6 weeks after that surgery this past April. The results were negative. They didn’t find cancer in her spleen. What a crazy year enduring what she likes to call “The Toughest Marathon of My Life” Look the beast in the eye. Focus on what makes you strong. Endure.   Her word rang out again…

Today & tomorrow we are Sharing hope. Feeling hope. Spreading hope. When you Relay you are in a field of hope.

What do you hope for? Quality of life?
Better treatments? A cure for cancer? Look around. That is what we all hope for at Relay.

We celebrate life.
We remember those we have lost
We fight back to find a cure.
Creating a world with less cancer and more birthdays. Thank you for being here, for making a difference in the fight against cancer, for making this day and every day the best it can be.

Are you ready?
Let’s Relay!

Boston Marathon Results!

2011-05-05T05:27:00.000-07:00

Here it is... the final results and to share with you the thank you note I sent to my donors... what a great marathon, a great focus for me during this crazy time in my life.

Note: On that Tuesday following the marathon on 4/19 there was an All Staff Briefing where they shared my "update" with the ACS staff nationwide. I was honored as they share my story as inspiration and to show my Wonder Woman photo on screen and on the webcast. I was in the air traveling to Salt Lake City for our annual family vacation at Snowbird and not able to see it live, but my friends shared the moment and the virtual cheers from across the country -- how cool is that!

My thank you note:

Thank you to all the ACS DetermiNation volunteers and staff too!
This truly was my best experience for DNation! I consider myself an "expert"! :)
The Dream Team was truly amazing with their participation and results!

THANK YOU!
I had to share my results and experience in photos as it is truly a celebration of life for me to have these results after only 6 weeks after having my spleen removed and 5 months since my last chemo treatment. :)

"Focus on what makes you happy and strong, no matter what, live it, breathe on and you too will go beyond being a survivor!"
- Nancy E Cook

My Boston Marathon Results!
(I looked these up for my thank you notes and had to share with all of you!) THANK YOU for your support of me during these past months of trials and tribulations! :)

9162 Cook, Nancy E 46 F Belchertown MA USA
SPLITS:
5k = 0:21:17
10k = 0:43:18
Half = 1:35:00
Overall pace = 0:08:02
Finish Time Official. = 3:30:27

98% finished that started the race - below is based on finishers
Time Overall = 7797 out of 24338 = Top 32% of all finishers
Gender - 1447 = 10281 = Top 14% of all women
Division = 101 = 1611 = Top 6% in age 45-49
Top woman finisher in my age group was 2:51:02 and number 10 was 3:12:40
Definitely do-able times in my book for the future! :)

ACS DetermiNation
Boston is my #5 DetermiNation effort in less than 3 years !!
I raised $1933.80 for the American Cancer Society through the Boston Marathon effort and the amazing support of all my donors !!
The Dream Team (6 truly incredible athletes) raised $18,893.80 !!
19 marathon runners supported ACS DetermiNation at the Boston Marathon and raised $47,614.50 !!
Time for a new goals! :)
So incredibly happy with my results and the truly amazing efforts in the fight against cancer !!

What's next? Vermont 50 miler in October and NYC Marathon in November and what ever else comes before that!

Life is good. :)

7 days till the Boston Marathon ..... "My Story"

2011-04-11T07:56:00.000-07:00

My Story

I was recently asked to share my story -

My story is one of will, dedication, committment, years of training and racing. Accumulating what seems like millions of hours of time that I have put in preparation.... and now another marathon - another day at the start line of a race, this time the Boston Marathon - the grand daddy of them all! 13 days from today - bib 9162, wave 2, corral 1 - standing, stretching, anticipating that start gun, with more than 20,000 runners headed from Hopkinton to Boston! This will be my 6th Boston and my 27th marathon.

It doesn't always come easy, getting out of bed each morning, but I am motivated by my loving husband, Steve who encourages me to get myself going and catch those ponytails! That plus my rambunctious "full of energy" son cheer me on at each race and give "me" the training time to put myself to work - to increase my mileage, speed or endurance as a whole. I am so proud that I can perform at the higher levels like I have proven in the recent past - with a seventh place master finish in 2007 with a 3:05 at Boston and then 7th master again in San Fransisco at the 2007 Nike Woman's marathon and then winning my age group at the Marine Corps Marathon in 2009. I qualified in 2008, at age 43 for the World Championship 1/2 ironman and the US National Championships for the Olympic distance - - on my own raw talent, because anyone that really knows me, knows I am of the "less is more theory" with all I have to juggle in life. I am self coached by "Greta Gamin" , my Ipod nano, and my training buddy, yellow lab Oakley. I research training plans online, communicate online with other runners and just get up and put my feet on the pavement each and every morning.

It hit me like a ton of bricks last July when I was diagnosed with Diffuse Large B Cell lymphoma that running was my focus to keep my sights forward and always moving ahead. I had signed up for the Chicago Marathon, and with God's will I would have the strength to endure chemo, endure training and complete the marathon. It was a challenge I put before me and as a goal oriented person I knew I would do it. Many may have doubted that I could do it, but when I was finally out there with tingly feet & hands, as hydrated as possible, with the goal to finish ---- it happened. I crossed the line with all that support behind me from friends, family, colleagues. My husband was there for me every step of the way, and my friend Cara dressed as BatGirl to support me in the marathon each mile while I wore my Wonder Woman outfit. Feeling like Wonder Woman we crossed the line with a 3:57.

My last chemotherapy treatment was in November. Now I had my sights on Boston, recruiting the Dream Team to join me on the line again and adding a couple more to the team we were perched for success! But they found something in my spleen and weren't sure that maybe the cancer was still growing inside of me. On February 28 they removed my spleen to biopsy it and determine if more chemo was needed. I waited a week and 3 days for the results, but got the call that there was no cancer in the spleen and I was "good to go"! It was another challenge coming back from major surgery in such a short time frame before Boston. The pain was tough to bear, even riding in a car at first, but I slowly moved beyond the pain and recovered enough to run and get some additional training in before the big day.

Now, with only 7 days till the Dream Team meets me in Boston to rally that route from Hopkinton to Boston chills go up my spine thinking about what a year it has been for me. The challenges before me have made me focus even more on that end result. I hope to inspire others to focus on the goals, all the good feelings, the ups and not the downs. I hope to share with others that you need to be as strong as you can be to get through the tough times and grow closer to that "pie in the sky" goal that you may set for yourself. Live each day! I have to end with my favorite quote from my "journey'

"Just remember that no one can hold you back from doing all the things you want to do. Keep you goals in sight, take one day at a time, some days will be better than others, but every day is a blessing -so make each day the best it can be."

- Nancy E Cook, marathoner, cancer survivor, mother, wife & more!

If you want to donate to my DetermiNation efforts in the fight against cancer through the mission of the American Cancer Society please link HERE

The Dream Team is now less than $300 from our $15,000 goal! Thank you to Cara, Charlie, DPittman, Matt and Jill all your amazing work!

Photo: My new "ride" for Boston --- a little Relay Purple in these Nike Lunar Glides -- LOVE em! :)

I am here.

2011-03-11T07:43:00.000-08:00

I got the call.

Dr. Barnes called on Tuesday & gave us the good news and there is NO cancer in my spleen. It was the best news we had heard all year. It took them a whole week to slice and dice the thing, but it turned up negative. Even better news is that it will be a close follow up of CAT scans & blood work for 2 years. I feel like I have hit another milestone in this journey. Survivorship.

I am here.

This latest experience has me reflecting on my past - working with the American Cancer Society - and the amazing volunteers that were "cancer survivors" to now truly discovering what it means to be a "survivor".

I remember specifically in my early years working as an Area Director for 5 counties in the state of New Hampshire. I called it the "West". :) 5 powerful small counties with so much potential. I replaced this staffer (I think her name was Kate) that the volunteers held in high regard and respect. They were tough shoes to fill. So there I was in my early 20's... working with professional volunteers to support the mission of the American Cancer Society. It was the Gail As & the Bob M's & the sweet Suki's that I "cut my teeth" on to develop my skills in working with volunteers to support the mission of the ACS and it is those early experiences working in the "field" that I remember the most .

Gail A. was a strong woman in the Peterborough area. I remember her not wanting to be called a "survivor" because it was truly something personal to her. She didn't want to be "jinxed" by the label. I can see how she feels now that I have had cancer. It is a beast. Fast forward to the Chicago Marathon - Kristin McQueen, cancer survivor & marathoner & IRONWOMAN says it best - "Suck it cancer!" She tapes those words on the back of her race shirt where ever she goes (raising more than $10K each year for ACS DetermiNation)..... It's true - it may be chasing you your whole life. Now that I have had cancer I realize there is nothing that ever says you are done. So many I have known have been "hit hard" multiple times. Mary Beth Redell from American Airlines - who we lost this past year to her final battle with colon cancer - is an amazing strong example. Others like sweet Suki from Peterborough would be the volunteers that lead that tiny town into making tens of thousands of dollars at Making Strides Against Breast Cancer. Her passion along with the passion of Betty Borry I got to know as the staff person at the Breast Cancer Survivor Adventure Weekend back in the mid 90's- where myself and cancer survivors (all ages and all stages) were given the opportunity to get away for the weekend and work through a ropes course, writing, kayaking and reflecting. It was an amazing experience for me I will never forget. Hearing about what it meant for each of those women to be surviving cancer face to face in that setting was one of the most inspiring things I have done in my life.

I remember in July when I was first diagnosed. I was scared, but decided to look the beast in the eye. I laughed as I told my friend Judy I couldn't wait to wear that purple tshirt, the sash and walk that lap! Being a survivor is a celebration. A celebration of life. My life, the lives of others who have faced the beast and lived another day. More birthdays - for more survivors - a mission you can relate to especially if you are someone like me who just loves their birthday! But this second time that I thought it could be more cancer, that scared me - I couldn't write about it. I had had enough. I had finished my chemo treatments, I fought hard, lost my hair, eyelashes & eyebrows, felt like crap, exhausted & beat up. My hair was just barely starting to come back so I didn't have to wear that crazy blonde wig. I kept my positive outlook, kept running to stay strong (mentally & physically)... to now hear this news of "Sorry we 'saw something' in your PET scan". EEK. Spleen removal? Major surgery? Whatever it takes is all that I could think or say. We had the best docs taking care of me and we put all our trust in them. Now, with the results in hand - no cancer - it is time to go back to living a normal life - wow - but I will never be "normal" after this experience.

I am here.

This was on the back of the Relay For Life Tshirt in Boulder Colorado when I moved out west (the REAL west). :) Kristin Sheldon was an artist I met on Pearl Street. On the weekends it was always a fair, vendors with their "carts" - and I loved her cards! I introduced myself to her that day and by chance it was the 1 year anniversary of a dear friend of hers that she lost to breast cancer. A true calling - me asking her to design a card & a bookmark to give to luminaria donors and the words in her font on the back of the survivor tshirt. The words meant so much to me at that time, but mean so much more to me now. I am here - PERIOD. I am here to do what it takes to share, to inspire, to encourage and to care about making a difference - a REAL difference. I don't quite yet know what that means yet. But I know there is more to come for me. I am alive due to the research and where we are with cancer treatments right now, because of amazing organizations like the American Cancer Society. I am here to do what it takes.

There are so many cancer survivors - so many stories of strength. I want to share my story to give others strength, but it isn't really about my story, I want to hear everyone else's story, it is a collection of all of the stories out there - because in every story there is inspiration, hope and a celebration of a life.

Be strong. Stay strong. Celebrate every day, because each day is a blessing.

I would like to share this card that Kristin developed for us at the American Cancer Society.

"With a trail of light, there is no night"

We celebrate the lives of the cancer survivors by honoring them at the Relay For Life luminaria ceremonies and paying tribute to the memories of those we have lost to cancer - "the beast".... we light a trail of luminaries to celebrate those lives. Remember at your Relay this year to celebrate those you love, those you care about and those in your community that bring strength to our world.

I am truly blessed to have such an amazing support system.... my family, my friends, my colleagues at the American Cancer Society - my doctors, Dr. Sean Mullally and Dr. Jeffery Barnes. ALL of the nurses and people that have smiled when I needed a smile, prayed when I needed strength & sent their love when I needed a boost!

Thanks for reading, stopping by - please leave a comment - I love to hear from everyone.

Bye bye Spleen! RIP!

2011-03-08T15:55:00.000-08:00

If you don't need it - get rid of it! If there may be cancer in there - just take it!

The weekend before the "knife" was a lot of fun at Mount Snow skiing with my "girls" for the last time this season and then out on the hill until last chair with Steve after skiing with the group. The skiing has been so amazing this winter! We have enjoyed every moment possible on the hill.... The Stratton race was the next day, we drove home knowing it would be more comfortable sleeping in our own bed before heading out in the morning. Schuyler stayed with the Feliciano's, who truly have become such great friends of ours this season. Sunday, Schuyler raced, Steve coached and I took photos of all the racers... I love the energy of the kids on the course and so proud of Schuyler & his friends as they ski by... my photography has been such a great focus for me during my "cancer" and I feel I have taken it to a new level. It is always great to focus on something you are passionate about when shit is hitting the fan. :) Just kidding. But just like my marathons, I have been spending time training, or sorting through thousands of ski photos to take my mind off what "may be". I have such an incredible support system on the mountain... all the parents in the ski club, all the coaches at Devo & Comp and of course my incredible family.

After the Stratton race we were headed straight home after a little Schuyler search to find him at the ceremony.... Once home we got Schuyler ready to spend the next few nights with our amazing friends/neighbors the Courchesne's.

Our trip to Boston in the morning on the Pike for almost 2 hours put us at the Wang Building of Mass General a few minutes late, we signed in and within 15 minutes "Nancy Cook" was called to the changing area. I felt like I was in the army with these big plastic bags for my clothes and shoes. I gave all my "valuables" to Steve - changed in the room and joined him back in the waiting room with my johnny & robe. Pretty funny when everyone else was in street clothes.... even for that moment, just a bizarre feeling. They called my name again and I was brought to a gurney / spot in the waiting area - met the first of what seemed like 1000 nurses of the day. This nurse took my vitals and initial bloodwork (they always seem to remark how low my vitals are - 110/50 BP & 50 pulse - all that running is good for a reaction I guess! ;) She and many of the others seemed to be reading my file of how I ran the Chicago marathon while in treatment and just looked at me in disbelief and in awe at the same time. I sort of felt like a "star". Steve was finally able to join me for a few minutes (it seemed like only a moment) and they whisked me away down the hall. Pretty funny how all the orderlies know each other as you move around this HUGE hospital - they smile and are just so sweet.

They found me a spot in the hall - and the anesthesiologist, a short woman with a huge smile and friendly manner began my "interview" - She promised they weren't going to do the surgery in the hall and showed me the room. I then met a few more nurses and "team" that would be taking care of me. Mass General is a teaching hospital and there are many people that again were reading my chart and making me smile with their comments about my running. :) (I like that). :) My surgery was scheduled for 7:45 am and we were on time.

Funny part is that is all I remember now that I am writing this.... I remember seeing Dr. Yoon wandering in the hall and he shook my hand, said hi and .... well it seems to be a blur. The drugs were real good because honestly I don't remember anything until I woke up and saw Steve there with me in the recovery area. I remember that we didn't get to a room until around 5ish that day. Long day! I remember my friend Robin Popp came to visit :) It was great to see her, but I felt so out of it. Steve was so patient, I guess he just had a long wait for me the entire day. They said the surgery was a complete success, the initial findings did not indicate any cancer, but the spleen is so big it would take days to biopsy it.

Finally in the room I was regaining my sense, although in quite a bit of pain from the surgery. They had tried different pain killers, some that made me nauseous.... my throat was really sore and it was just exhausting. Steve had his computer out and was right there by my side. Such a lucky girl.

The lady next to me had her husband or friend there and it was around 9 pm that they wanted to kick them out because of visiting hours. We had hoped that we could talk them in to letting Steve stay because I was so nervous and anxious, but I didn't have the energy to fight with the nurses. :( So he made the trip home that night. I slept a little, only to be awaken it seemed every couple hours because my roomie and I were on separate times for vitals. Steve came back first thing in the morning and the plan was to get me home that day... I desperately wanted to be home in my own bed and getting some sleep so I could heel. :)

Dr. Barnes stopped for a visit during the day - remarked that I looked great, the surgery went well and again no initial signs of cancer. They had biopsied one "slice" - but needed until Friday or Monday for the results. To have my spleen removed was the least invasive of all the options.... I just prayed that we would not find more cancer. Dr. Yoon stopped by too. He was happy with the surgery results, meaning no complications. He was a little wary about me going home so soon, but knew that was my goal and made it clear that I had to have enough strength but it was possible.

The last of the 1000 nurses and "team" working on my care was Kristin (sp) and she was awesome. The goal was to get the catheter out and to be able to walk to the bathroom and back. Give me a goal - I am there! She found me sitting up on the window cil ready to go - and she checked me out. It was 3 pm and we were bound to beat the Pike traffic that afternoon.

The ride home was really tough. Bumps were awful and I braced myself for the potholes on the side roads after getting off the Pike. It was pretty painful. Once home I could rest. Recovery this week has been slower than I really wanted it to be, up until yesterday the bumps were just excruciating to my stomach. Schuyler went to the mountain but we stayed home where Steve did some major driveway repair from the rain, mud and flooding.

I am so blessed and thankful for all my family and friends. Flowers, chocolate, cards, books and the coolest of packages to cheer me up have been flowing to the house. Thank you all so much!

It's not over until the Fat Lady Sings.....

2011-02-25T10:36:00.000-08:00

NOW we just need to find a Fat Lady radiologist! HA!
All jokes aside, I have been very lax on updating this blog for a few reasons.
One is that Blogger says I have used up all my photo space and can't post images anymore - BOO! I need to imbed pics and that is just too much extra work for me right now.
Two is that I have been overwhelmed. Work and life in general has not been so easy to juggle since chemo and I had to give myself a break. HR has been great at work as well as my supervisor and all the great people I work with at the Society. I have such high expectations of myself, it is so hard not to work at 100%.
Three is that I really don't know what is next. And I guess I am in that denial stage of not knowing and just staying positive that this will be just another blip on the screen and life will continue to get back to normal.

They found something on the final PET scan and Dr. Mullally pushed because of my symptoms to do another quick PET so we could be sure it was all gone. Well, lo and behold it wasn't gone. Just a little piece, but it did show an increase and after consulting with Dr. Barnes the next course of action is to remove my spleen. We had a quick visit to Dr. Barnes where my blood levels were just about normal (not quite) and he made the recommendation to remove the spleen, biopsy it and then take the next steps once we get those results. It could be more cancer, or we could rectify the situation with removing the spleen.

We then met with Dr. Yoon in preps to get my spleen removed 3 weeks from that day. Dr. Yoon was to the point and shared with us the procedure and the need for immune shots so I could have that 3 week prep in my body before surgery. He gave us a low down on the recovery and knowing what a committed runner I am (obsessed? crazy?) he realized it would take a lot to hold me back and recommended 2-3 weeks (with others he recommends 3-4 weeks) and realizes that he would have to put my legs in a cast to stop me from running. He pegged me quickly don't you think? I smiled and felt strong.... all I could think about was the Boston marathon, Snowbird and Mt Hood. ALL still on the calendar, all systems go --- just need to get this behind us.

Bottom line - surgery is this next Monday at the Wang Building at Mass General at 7:30. They are removing my spleen and say I will be in recovery at the hospital for 2-3 days. Steve is going to be with me the entire time and I am truly thankful for our neighbors, Mike, Fabiola, Christian, Marissa & Evan who are going to take care of Schuyler and keep him in school.

Thank you all for your prayers and support, flowers, Itunes giftcards & CHOCOLATE! I will post more when I know more. In the meantime, the Dream Team is running Boston because we have to KICK this beast of a disease! You can now LIKE us on Facebook! I am only 1/2 way to my goal so all of your donations are appreciated. I have put in some major miles the past 2 weeks getting ready for this FORCED taper.....

2 quick photos to show you my hair is coming back! Now let's just pray I don't have more chemo in the stars!

All Staff Briefing - My notes! :)

2010-12-07T16:29:00.000-08:00

Thank you
It was a year ago that I stood on this stage to celebrate my 15th year with the acs and shook the hands of Dr sefrin and his cabinet - you may not recognize me cause I was a brunette. Little did I know at that time what my year had in store.

You see, I am a top ranked master runner having competed in 25 marathons, that's 26.2 miles a pop... Including 4 ironman triathlons. I placed 7th master in Boston and last year won my age group at Marine Corps marathon racing with 40K people around DC. In my 40s I am in the best shape of my life.

I too love to celebrate my birthday but I didn't realize that impact until just after my 46th birthday in June. It was around the same time as our local Relay where I am a team captain with our Cub Scouts that while running in training for the Chicago marathon I felt a lump in my stomach. After feeling it grow my husband urged me to go to the doctor who ordered a cat scan and we waited days for the results. I remember sitting in the doctors office when she told us "we think you have lymphoma"- what? Cancer? I could see the tears in my husbands eyes, and my ACS experience has shown me this could go many ways - so without hesitation we started to make some more appointments - I just wanted this thing gone.

What felt like months was weeks of tests, waiting to get in to see the oncologist, more tests and working with the insurance to make sure it was all pre approved. Once we had a diagnosis of diffuse large b cell lymphoma we needed to be sure that it was indeed the whole story. Finally with approval of a local oncologist we were off to mass general to see a lymphoma specialist - dr barnes -a biopsy and more tests. We then had the right diagnosis in hand and were able to get connected with a oncologist locally we liked - one that fit, one who we could trust, which so important. Dr Mullally understood my drive as an athlete ... Because I was going to do the Chicago marathon, 2/3 of the way through my treatment even if I had to walk.

I realize this will be the toughest marathon of my life and just like a marathon I need a plan. When I would share with my friends, family and colleagues - they would remark "are you kidding? You are the healthiest person know!". Like everyone I was in denial, but when I lost my hair it all became real... I am bald, I have cancer. See? (take off hair)

My plan? Stay strong, be positive. I needed a symbol of strength and Wonder Woman was a natural fit! My sister made our costumes and my friend Cara was going to support me as Batgirl. Here we go! (put on cap and cape). Amazing what a costume can do to fuel your efforts!

Mile 1-15
Just like treatment, I was still strong, feeling fast enjoying all the conversations along the way sharing my story with all would listen. Stay hydrated and pace yourself!

Mile 16-20
The tough need to get tougher -medical is key and you need to listen to your body. Have hope, share hope along the way. Halfway through treatment al the symptoms are starting to amplify.

Mile 21-24
They say at a marathon starts at mile 21, you may need to readjust your goal but keep that finish line in sight and don't give up! Even though this may be the last visit to the doctor the accumulative effect of chemotherapy is more exhausting than ever.

Mile 25-26.2
Yes or no? Choose your attitude, do your best, smile - you are a symbol of hope.
I remember the cheers from the city of Chicago rooting for wonder woman and batgirl all the way! And I remember my tears of joy crossing that finish line.
I beat my goal and ran a 3 hr 57 min marathon thanks to the support of my loving husband and Batgirl (car and Steve stand up)

But recovery is a challenge, give your body and mind a break - rest is so important to getting back on the road.

What's next? I have some more tests and PET scan next week to see that my treatment was successful ...
And my 5th acs Determination marathon will be Boston in April with my 6 member ACS Dream Team in force!

Just remember that no one can hold you back from doing all the things you want to do. Keep you goals in sight, take one day at a time, some days will be better than others, but every day is a blessing -so make each day the best it can be."

_____________________________

Here is the photo "movie" that I put together for this event. What was shared was 10 photos, but this gives you even better picture of the journey. Enjoy.

All Staff Briefing - Survivor Speaker

2010-12-07T11:47:00.000-08:00

I recently was honored to be asked to be the American Cancer Society staff survivor speaker at our National All Staff briefing in Atlanta, Georgia. I worked with Laurie Entriken from our national office Talent Strategy team and shared my blog and experience with her before getting to work on putting together a presentation for Friday, December 3. Steve took the time off from work to fly down and support me - which truly thrilled me as he had not been to our National Home Office. I was so proud to share our organization with him on the trip. :)

It was a few reiterations, drafts and practices of the presentation in front of Steve that got me to the final. I had not practiced a speech so much before the day as I am pretty good at "winging it" but it paid off. :)
There was about 200 people there in the audience and another 200 across the country tuning in to the All Staff Briefing and my speech at the end of the program. Cara - aka: BatGirl came to see me speak that morning, taking time off from work as well --- (she is such a busy girl - it meant the world to have her there too!).

I felt pretty shaky, although listening to it now I can't feel the shakiness like I could on stage. My mouth was so dry and it got worse through the presentation so next time I am going to drink a ton of water to prepare.... :) I didn't have enough strength to open up that bottle of water, but that would have helped too. : )

It has been great to look at all the pieces of my story that will make a difference to someone that will hear it and I think the marathon analogy was a good one. I will also post my notes / speech in a separate post for you to see as well.

Here is the presentation - enjoy! Please leave a comment below and let me know what you think! :)

I want to share the photos that were displayed as well - it took me going through 35 favorites to get to the 10 final pics to share as part of the slide show. I referred to them through my presentation so they will be posted with my notes from the presentation.

Thanks for stopping by - I know it has been a while.

I get my PET scan tomorrow and see the Doc on Friday - Wish me luck! :)

Posting a link to my presentation at the New England Relay U from September --- now with 2 speaking engagements under my belt, I think I am getting better at sharing this personal experience! :)
"Bald Appearance brings standing O at the NEDIV Relay U!"

A child's perspective - a focus on Schuyler's experience

2010-11-22T09:36:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder what it would be like to get cancer and have to share the news with your child? How scared they would be? If you were afraid of dying, then how afraid are they going to be and think you are going to die? Will they share with you that fear, or just fear it? The fear of dying is so vivid for a child, especially a nine year old that actually understands heaven, where people go and death. It is truly a scary thing. I remember the day telling Schuyler when he got back from New Hampshire and being as strong as I could be, so that we could manage his fears and he would feel comfortable talking to us about his trepidations.

It has been a crazy ride for me, this "cancer" thing... but bringing my family along with me has to be even harder to see how they personally deal with it all. It is amazing how the strong get stronger in the case of my family. Schuyler has had some ups and downs and really doesn't like to talk too much about my cancer, and just connects with me on so many levels that I am able to tell when it may be "bothering" him. When I first was diagnosed I shared on the blog his reaction, and we have all stayed strong and confident through treatment and when I am not feeling well. When I get up in the morning I choose my attitude, read the Optimist Creed, and keep positive. As the time has gone by I realize it may be hard to tell that I have cancer except for my bald head and pale face. We ask Schuyler to be strong and think himself well - as we know the positive vibes of your inner self help in the healing process at all levels.

We stay fun and light around the house where Schuyler has been so great to have around me to brighten my day and my overall spirit. His distraction for me with all his needs and activities has kept me strong.

Here are some of the stories to tell about Schuyler & his experience with "Mommy's Cancer"

"Mommy Baldness"
One night we were sitting on the couch watching TV - Schuyler puts me in a head hold and says.... "I Love your bald head mommy - it's just like a ball!" :) Schuyler LOVES balls - so that surely was the biggest compliment of the day. He has been so great about me not "wearing hair" and has been known to just "rip" it off my head with no warning. :) Guess it doesn't bother him that I am bald! :)

"Other kids"
He obviously doesn't talk about it much with the other kids and avoids their questions:
Lynne's son Derrick asked me why I wear a cap.... I told him its because I don't have any hair.
Schuyler said "Why did you go and tell him, now he will tell everyone!"
"When kids ask me why you wear a cap I tell them its because your crazy! Pirate - crazy.... " :)
I think he likes to keep it our family secret and often asks me if I still have cancer.

"Are you healed yet?"
At the end of my treatment he asks, "Mom - do you STILL have cancer?" and I replied "yes, but it is almost 100% gone and we will know that after I go to the hospital and they scan my body to see that the chemo has killed it all - isn't that great!" - "Yes!" he replies "I just want your hair to grow back!"
As my hair has been growing back he gently pulls my cap off my head and feels the "fuzz".... "YAY! Your hair is growing back - it's so FUZZY & soft!"

My energy level has been low at times and my moods, sad and tired have been really tough for me to handle. I am so blessed that Schuyler has been so resilient, supportive and loving. He truly gives me strength.

The Monster Mash 5K

2010-11-03T14:04:00.000-07:00

It was great to be home during Halloween weekend -- and fun to be a part of all of that is happening in this great community that we live in. I love to run a race on the holidays as the tshirts and festivity of it all just makes me so happy. SO - in support of the Clapp Memorial Library we headed up to the Common and I put on my Wonder Woman costume, knowing it would fit right in with all the costumes around! :)

We were so happy to see Trish & Jacob Sorber, friends of ours that we have known since Marin & Eliza were in Schuyler's kindergarten class. The twins are always so amazing --- I remember the comment Jacob made to me when Schuyler went to the girls birthday party -- "We think Schuyler has replaced Diego!" -- the girls just love Schuyler. :) He is such a shy kid and not mixing with all the girls right now - so he kept his distance and refused a photo op. Oh well. I got some great photos of all the kids! Jacob is a cancer survivor and it was great to share my experiences and some how when you talk to others that have experienced what you have gone through in cancer treatment - it truly creates a special bond, one I never would have known before. For that I am thankful. I love the velour hippie outfit full of color and Jacob's dyed bluish purple hair. :)

The kids got their dash in first and the day was so clear and crisp. Schuyler actually put some speed on his run and it was good to see! :) He loves soccer, skiing and all sports --- so great to have an active boy! I think he is actually looking forward to skiing, and is going up to Vermont with his good friend Aidan next weekend to get that winter excitement brewing! ;)

Then we lined up for the Monster Mash 5K - a 3.1 mile run around some side streets starting and ending at the Library. I meet this girl Jill, a triathlete - who everyone was eyeing as she is the fast girl in town. :) She was so sweet and it was great to connect once I chatted with her about different athletic events we had done at the same time. She was in Clearwater at the World's 1/2 Ironman Championship after qualifying at Timberman. Both races I had done at the same time. She said she was so happy to finally meet me -- such a great energy to connect with - hopefully we will connect to train when I am feeling better down the road.

Schuyler - not one for impromptu photos :)

I love the start of races, so exhilarating and full of energy -- everyone sprinting their way and working to get their pace. I am never very good about hanging in the back, so I push to the front as we round the common, soon to be passed by Jill and one other young girl. It is such a beautiful area with all the colors still on the leaves it made for such a beautiful run around town.

Trisha ran with me for a little while and then I had to stop and tie my shoe. My stomach wasn't feeling so hot and probably from the crash earlier my breathing just wasn't on --- and I really didn't feel like pushing much -- so I eyed the corners of each turn and looked at my Garmin for the mileage and eventual finish. Steve could tell I wasn't pushing and got some great photos of me floating to the finish. :) I kept my Chicago Marathon track jacket on the whole way as the weather was definitely a bit chilly for a tank top. The last part of the race was uphill on Route 181 and the wind was at our face as we ran up the last hill. Not actually a PR flat course for some you could hear grumbling about the "hill" at the finish. :) But me, I love hills - it is definitely an advantage to love hills and love challenges. Makes you stronger in the end. :)

It was great to see Steve and get my big hug at the finish -- :) 23 minutes for a 5K - just about a 7 min/mile - not to bad for a jog around town. Can't wait to feel better so I can push harder. I have a feeling when I come back from this I will be stronger than ever. I just feel it.

RCHOP #6 - Enduring it till the end!

2010-11-03T12:01:00.000-07:00

I wanted to label this "My last and final treatment cycle" or "The Light at the end of the Tunnel" or "The Finish Line that I have been waiting for..." or "it's OVER now"! But the weirdness of it all surrounds me, with the accumulation of all the chemo inside of me, each round has been more difficult to take, and it isn't all about the treatment days, but the endurance of all the symptoms that follow. I have some cancer survivor friends that have been prepping me for all of this, but I really just keep my eye on the pie, the last treatment, the upcoming hopefully CLEAN PET scan and my hair growing back, my stamina and my drive returning and more of that old "Nancy" that I miss.

I anticipated the last treatment as one that would be tough and really didn't want a self fullfilling prophecy, but knew it wouldn't be easy. RCHOP 5 was tough enough, but this one - I just had a feeling. I have been pushing myself to work as much as possible, keeping up on the important stuff and proud to be doing all that I can in this state of healing. This week I decided I really need to get myself back on track and start the healing process.

We had our routine down as I said in RCHOP 5 and as usual we were a little late getting there for our chat with the Doc and intake nurse. I decided to get on the scale backwards and not look at the number, knowing all that Halloween candy weight wouldn't make me happy. :) We joked and the nurse smiles as she asks me her usual "So - how are you feeling"? I take the chance to tell her all my aches and pains and falls and stuff that she really probably doesn't need to know, but it seems like a great time to list them off. :)
1. My chest is still aching from a fall in the trails before the 5K I ran on Saturday.
2. My toes are still black and blue and my right toe nail may fall off - still issues from the Chi Marathon
3. I have the sniffles - something Schuyler must have brought home
4. Feeling bloated and a little exhausted
But otherwise GREAT! :) She laughs and takes notes, probably thinking I am crazy. :)

The doc comes in and asks the same question and I get to tell him the fun story of how I body slammed the ground after tripping in the trail, probably because I can't feel my toes and pick up my feet as well as I used to? (OR at least that can be my excuse for now) -- My friend said that if it doesn't get better I probably should get it checked out - so I told her that I was seeing the Doc and maybe he give me a 2 for 1 on the next check up. He laughs.... and smiles... and is so excited to share that all my test results are normal and good. No anemia, blood levels are good and everything is in order! Yay! We really think that the exercise and good healthy food, prayers and healing surroundings really pay off and are so happy. So after a bunch of ski talk, gear talk and getting excited for winter, we head to the CHAIR. :)
Photo of Steve, me & Doc Mullally (actually taken after the "high Five finish" as we were getting ready to leave.

That familiar chair (and there is an extra one for Steve) - oh so comfy with its pillow and blanket waiting (I know that I am napping later, so this is all good). I load up my side tables with my ITouch, IPad and Mac -- get ready to do some Farming and then settle in for my nap. Those of you that don't follow me on Facebook, Farming has been my mindless distraction to get me through some of this and I must say I have an incredible Farm and Winery too!
:) Love the photo below --- with my new Smartwool boot/slippers. :)

My inspirational jacket of the day was my Chicago Marathon 2008 jacket which reminded me of the HEAT wave I endured and still ran a 3:26 marathon (even though I truly complained at the end - hoping to run a 3:10 that day!) Steve still remembers me blaming him that I didn't get enough training in that marathon -- until we found out that they cancelled the race and asked all the runners to walk back after a certain point. Crazy marathon experience that was! We had our down jackets that morning as it was in the 40's at home when we left the house. It was nice to have my down jacket with me - kind of like having a sleeping bag - definitely a comforting feeling. Love my Marmot down jacket!

The cheery nurse comes over to "stick" an d"juice" me and I get to meet the new girl too -- a long time nurse now in Oncology (when she got to see my blog she was a little stunned with it all - made me feel like the Wonder Woman that I am) --- but I am strong, I endured this whole thing, running the whole way. :) Once loaded up the Benedryl drip started and I was out --- They RCHO the chemo routine inside of me and I slept through most all of it. Woke up around 12:30 starving! We got 2 sandwiches at the Roadhouse and I ate that second one for lunch. Yummy.

The end of the session I got some photos to share as I love to include photos with these posts. Got one with the Doc this time. He has been so amazing. We feel so blessed to have found him and this office of amazing caregivers. A comforting, relaxing, healing place to be treated. I introduced myself to the other patient that was there and talked to her a little before leaving and wished her luck with her treatments. Then to the back where the nurses mix the drugs -- with the kitchen in the back too. "The Control Center" :) It's like the backroom or waitress station where it all happens. :) They are the greatest too. The one nurse gives me a hug as I shared the print out of the RCHOP 5 post where I featured her photo -- She says "You have endured this like no one else - we are so proud of you" --- tears welled up in my eyes. Who knew I would be sad saying goodbye? I can't say enough about how great they were all to me at that office and how comforting it was to know I was getting rid of this cancer in my body --- the strongest way I know how.

We said goodbye, knowing we would be back the next day and later again to get checked more, but this time - I know that I won't be getting that "poison" in my body and it is going to be all about a healthier me in the future. Cancer Free Me

SO the big Shot that was on Tuesday - used to give me chills and pain is now under control with Aleve and rest.
The Prednisone is totally no fun - but I know it is only 5 days of craziness, mood swings, retaining water, a little nausea, heartburn, etc... But when this week is done --- it's done. My hair is even starting to grow back a little and that has truly put a smile on my face.

Cheers to all of you and your sweet notes on facebook and daily mile and comments here on the blog. I really appreciate all of your loving support and prayers. Like I said - we are truly blessed to have such an incredible support group all across the country. Thank you! Please leave a comment if you stop by! I love getting notes and comments here are read and posted!

RCHOP #5 - Angels in White

2010-10-26T06:43:00.000-07:00

I realize that I needed to do a post about my #5 treatment, but it all has been such a challenge lately that I haven't even finished sharing all that i wanted to share about the marathon. We worked the schedule with Doc Mullally that I could delay #5 treatment because we were flying home on Monday. On Tuesday I needed to get to Northampton for my blood tests and doctor visit before treatment begins on Wednesday. I was truly on a high from the marathon and smiling ear to ear as I walked into the blood draw office, where our friend (who I still don't know her name) greeted us in her New England way ( a non-greeting, non smiling, let's get to it greeting). I can't 'remember now what I said, but I was doing my best to make her smile that afternoon and was successful! Or at least I got half a grin - which is HUGE here in New England, if you know the type, you know what i am talking about. I was looking for her name on her lab coat and the only thing embroidered there was the hospital name "Cooley Dickinson Hospital" - so now we call her "Cooley". She is the best draw in the East! She never makes a mistake, always "gets" the vein - does a quick draw and we are done! Gotta love it. :)

Then off to see Doc Mullally..... he was all smiles as usual and the girls soon showed us to the exam room. It is such a warm and inviting office with all the photos and the artwork on the walls. As much as I hate to go to treatment because of the after affect - I really love it there (as far as oncologists offices go - LOL). I had made him an 8x10 enlargement of me in the Chicago marathon alongside BatGirl (which is now my header of this blog). I "autographed" it and put the times and date on there too- perfect for framing! He commented "If that doesn't inspire you - I don't know what will!" as he walked to his office looking for a prominent place to put it. He had asked us to call from Chicago when I finished so that he would know I was ok. We text him my results when we were there and he was happy -- (not sure how I could tell that in his text - but I could. :)) So now in the office we told him the story of the race and how it went - it was so fun to share and he was truly impressed with my performance - AMAZED actually. He is an athlete (past ski racer, etc.) in his own right -- dedicated to his fitness and family's fitness and it shows. His support of me has been there and true. We have appreciated that more than he knows..... in the office it was like going home to the team and sharing the results to all of them as they huddled around to see the photo and feel my energy. I still was feeling the endorphins and the excitement of finishing the marathon and sharing the story made it all come back. : )

The next day was treatment and we are finally in a routine, although when we are running late we miss those RoadHouse Breakfast sandwiches! ;( There always seems to be traffic across the bridge as we peek toward the river and wave to our boat at the Sportsman's Marina. Barely making it there "on time" to sit and wait in the waiting room, Trista greets us with a smile and off we go with all our gear for the day (snacks, books, computers, nano, Ipad, MacBook and my IBM for work too) - finding our favorite chairs right by the nurses station.

Angels in white above -- these nurses have been a part of my treatment since the beginning. They both make me smile. They are my angels in white - the unsung heroes of the journey of so many cancer patients. Funny I am wearing white today too and this photo is just real warming to me, knowing how I am on the last "leg" of this marathon! :)

My inspirational tech shirt of the day was my new 2010 Chicago marathon shirt which I LOVE (not only because of the accomplishment it stands for, but because it is Schuyler's birthday too! 10-10) I wore my new track jacket from the marathon too - which I love and thanks to Judy's recommendation I was able to get one of the last ones they had on the rack! Once all comfy - the nurse came over set me up finding the perfect vein (which they still admire! :)) and the drip of drugs began. This time was a little different in that the Benedryl HIT ME HARD -- stopped me in mid sentence where I couldn't keep typing. I then passed out and slept until 1 pm. Seriously it was crazy -- I vaguely remember the doc floating by and the nurses milling around, and Steve checking on me, but I was OUT. So much for getting any work done. I had my nano playing a playlist and it must have just kept me in that trance. That and maybe I needed the rest? So needless to say the treatment FLEW by and before I knew it, it was time to go ---

Earlier that week Alison from the National DetermiNation Team had asked me if I would speak on the nationwide Webex for staff at the American Cancer Society as the inspirational speaker. I let her know I was in treatment and would do my best. Well -- here it was time for that webex..... and the room was empty of patients. I asked Steve if he thought i could do it -- feeling like I had just slept for days..... and still a little fuzzy.... he said sure, if I wanted to I should. So I called in. I shared my story. I shared my Chicago marathon experience and I shared a bit of my DetermiNation experience. Half asleep, I hoped I was inspiring -- it was crazy though because the IV was still in my arm as I pulled the setup around the room to a small spot and the doc and nurses walked by... The one thing I remember from that call was Ann McNamara from Illinois chiming in - saying hi -- she has been a friend for such a long time in my career at the Society. Her strength and care and passion for the mission of the Society shines through every time she speaks. She said through DetermiNation we (the ACS ) are "changing the way we look at cancer patients" - She is right. survivors are strong - strong and determined. Determined to survive, determined to finish and determined to made a difference in the fight against cancer. I can relate. Once you are put in the position that your life may be taken away from you by this disease and you get beyond that - you want to fight - you want to show "cancer" and others that it can't take you, can't take your spirit, and can't take your strength. As hard as "IT"has tried -- --- I am "one touch chick" and "Super Vixen" and "Wonder Woman" and all those other great things that the cards portray sent from people from all over the country. -- My support group is immense. My "team" of supporters are as strong and dedicated as I could only wish for -- they all want to see this disease eradicated. The strength of all their prayers is heartfelt and true.

Above my latest self portrait taken right before leaving for Chicago when I was looking strong and still had some color in my face. I guess it depends on the day. Lately I have been avoiding the mirror unless I have that silly blonde wig on. :)

Thanks for stopping by -- it has taken me a while to write this as the treatments have been harder and harder to recover from. It took a 2 full weeks this time! The symptoms get worse, my nausea is looming. I feel & look sick. My emotions have been going crazy and I have been pretty down and out and moody. I am done with being bald - and can't wait for my hair to grow back. My energy level is low, I am exhausted and need extra sleep, the heartburn is nasty and I don't have much of an appetite because my mouth feels burnt and my throat is a bit sore. Don't worry - I manage to eat and have not lost any weight. :) I think finally after 2 weeks I feel almost back to normal (or at least "during treatment" normal). I can run this week again and that feels great despite the tingling in my hands and feet getting a little worse. I still need to write about the DetermiNation experience at Chicago -- so stay tuned. :) And RCHOP #6 is NEXT WEEK! My last treatment! I can't believe it is finally here -- I think I am buying balloons! :) Yay!

Please leave a comment - I love to read the comments as they really give me strength & hope. You are all my support group and cheering squad. I love and appreciate you all! :)

The Marathon Experience - Marathon DAY! (Stage 2)

2010-10-21T14:14:00.000-07:00

Here goes - time to finally chronicle the "DAY".... I had a tough time with recovery from treatment this round and have been so tired and overwhelmed, my updates to you all haven't been there. There is so much to share and I really wanted to do it right, so I needed to wait until I was feeling better. Treatment started late because of our travel and therefore recovery was late too. SO here I am FINALLy ready to report! :)

My Chicago Marathon - 10/10/10

I was happy that we got to bed at a decent time -- dinner was fabulous and I was like a kid at Christmas, thinking the earlier to bed, the earlier to rise and then I can enjoy my presents! OK - maybe not the best analogy but definitely anxious for the day to begin. This marathon created less performance pressure because of my cancer and more focused on the fun and the completion-- so I was smiling and happy - knowing just crossing the finish line for me in Chicago would be an amazing success story in itself.

Palmer House, Chicago, IL (love this artsy shot with the side lighting of the sign) :)

I sent a text to Cara (aka: BatGirl) first thing in the morning to make sure she wasn't going to be late as Charlie had me all worried that she may be, but he kept her right in line with the time frame and they walked from their hotel to ours in the morning. I couldn't find my glide, but finally did and covered my upper body where I normally get chaffed - crazy as it sounds, my skin is so sensitive, I really need glide every race. Steve and I hit the lobby Starbucks for some great french roast coffee and I finished a croissant for a little carbo boost for breakfast. No craziness for food in the morning for me, need to keep it simple so my body doesn't go crazy later! Plenty of water and then we met Cara & Charlie and family outside the Palmer House. We were quite the crew. As I waited for Cara people walked by on the way to the start and commented "nice outfit" -- it was funny because we really look better together as they "Dynamic Duo". Love the capes! We decided we could handle the string and wear them the whole way because the look SO good! My outfit was a little tight, but I really love the look -- so much fun once you get the suit on, I felt like a Super Hero! Aren't we cute?! The "pirate hat worked (I honestly think having that hat has been a great disguise, so much that people don't even realize I am in chemotherapy. Or least I don't think they can tell.... :)

We walked to the Elite corrals - Charlie was in Elite A and Cara & I (with David - who we met later) were in Elite B. We wanted to be sure we were entering right as the time for the start was approaching quickly. A few more photos as a group and we were on our way. Steve is just so amazing, he was the tour guide, coordinator for the group to get around on the L and view the course, hoping to catch us with my camera along the course. His energy and love I count on every minute, every mile.... I love this photo of us together, he is my incredibly fit, gorgeous husband, and a balanced calming nature -- I love & appreciate him so much.

So we made it to this space and had to wait. You see the three of us below - well we waited for at least 15 minutes. I was getting a little nervous, but they finally let us and and it was smooth sailing from there. People did try to climb the fence and they were immediately booted. There were 45,000 people on that starting line in the different corrals.... it was pretty crazy! We headed to the B corral, and said good luck and good bye to Charlie (he was hoping for a sub 3 hour marathon!). It was truly fun how everyone commented and loved our costumes.... we smiled and waved and posed for photos- even in the start corral, racers pulled out their cameras and asked us if we would flank them for a photo. SO much fun right from the start. :)

And here we are after we met up with David PIttman in Elite Coral B(LINK to his story on Chicago HERE)-- we all ran together in the beginning -- Cara and I chatting along and David just smiling!

The ACS DetermiNation Dream Team was rocking Chicago!

Now a mile by mile recap! Here is my post on Daily Mile to see the course and the Garmin entry of pace and more!

Miles 1-6: Feeling fast, energized, excited and pumped by the crowd cheers! We were "flying" with our capes on and honestly had a hard time running slow. Truly feeling like a SUPER Hero in cape and costume! (This is usually a problem for me - so honestly I was taking advantage of it - knowing I would pay for it later). We stopped at every water stop because of the hot weather and looming dehydration and warnings out there because of the heat. But the water in our system also made it so we had to stop early for that bathroom! :)

Lucky for us - no line! In and out quick, but it did slow our pace to stop.

Miles 7-14: Chatting away, flying high, waving at the crowd and raising our arms to make them cheer louder was so much fun. My face hurt from smiling so much! The kids were the best, to see the look in their eyes when they saw the Super Heros running by. It was so heartwarming to see all the families out there cheering on their runners. We looked for the ACS DetermiNation folks along the way - found a couple of girls and got my photo taken, but thought I lost Cara! :) She of course was waiting patiently for me in a slow jog. She PROMISED never to leave me -- so cute. :) I am glad she didn't.

Photos by Steve Cook -- we didn't see him here - but you can see we were working the crowd. :)

This is the award winning photo that I autographed for Doc Mullally

(Thanks sweetie!)

Miles 16-20: This was the tough section where it began - we stopped again at the Port a Pottie and my legs were starting to cramp up - either from Prednisone or dehydration or acccumulation of drugs, not sure.... :) But it wasn't much fun. It was much easier to keep running. My fingers and toes were tingly, but didn't feel blistery yet. It was awesome while in the race when other racers would comment that they loved running near us because we were getting so many cheers and encouragement. They called me Wonder Woman - and Cara quickly told them my story, how I was a true Wonder Woman STILL in treatment. Impressed the heck out of them all! :) I was starting to lose it with my stamina, so all this talk of strength and admiration of what I was doing kept me going!

We truly were having so much fun with the spectators and all the suburbs of Chicago -- there was this one section where the band was giving FREE HUGS and we ran right for them! :) Then right after that the whole area including a block of water and Gatorade volunteers had a Wonder Woman theme - they were ALL dressed as WW! This was my section and it was just so cool to be there smiling and psyched to have them there as my WW team! :) There was this one transvestite that was dressed in a Wonder Woman outfit down to the boots --- I stopped and said "I love your outfit!" and he said --"I love yours too!" SO fun! :) This one runner actually kept running as he tried numerous times to take our photo - we were the stars of the day! And anyone who would listen got a quick recap of my story and you could see the amazement almost look of disbelief on their faces. Once or twice I took my "pirate cap" off just to prove I was bald. :)

Cara's BatGirl outfit was a hit! She was in black so sometimes people didn't notice her beside my red and blue bright outfit.... they called her "Batman, Bat Woman, BatGirl an my all time favorite Bat Chica!" She looked so awesome in the black cape and always had such a huge smile on - people gravitated toward her positiveness. She checked in with me constantly (or as much as I would let her) to see if I was ok and if I needed anything. We said a few "Our Fathers" and felt truly blessed and watched over the WHOLE way. Yes- I thank God for Cara. We got to know eachother that day - talking the whole way (or at least until I needed more oxygen) - telling eachother our life stories and became the BEST of friends. :) The Dream Team for me turned into this dream come true of truly dedicated cancer fighters that have supported me through my diagnosis, treatment and supporting me in my love for running and marathons. I truly have become to cherish my long distance friendship with each one of them - all of us in our own corner of the country! :)

Here we are at mile 21 (I was "DONE" but couldn't wait to finish)

Cara is in midst of telling a story! :) Looking pumped up and ready to finish! Love her expression in this photo --- she talked the whole way! Sang a little too!

At mile 21 we stopped to say hi to Charlie's mom & sis, get a "WOOT WOOT!" from Mama T - and a HUGE hug from my sweet husband Steve to feel the energy and love our our families ! Steve was so great to snap all these super photos of our adventure!

Off we go! The Dynamic Duo - making the city safe one mile at a time. It was pretty funny as this is what we commented to any of the police officers on the side of the course. It brought a smile to their face as they applauded our efforts. Cara continued to let them know that I was the real super hero - still in treatment and running strong..... Her admiration, and confidence in me gave me strength!

Miles 20-26.2:
Off we go to finish the race. It has been said that the race begins at mile 20-22. So as you can imagine with all the adrenaline gone and the body using up its energy that this is a point where you just need to dig deep. We walked for quite a while it seemed right around mile 22 and drank a TON of water. Each water stop I poured water over my head and in my face to cool off and add hydration to my body. Walking was ok, but my legs were cramping up.
Crazy - but we stopped at medical to use a Biofreeze (Bengay type product) to soothe the muscles. The next stop I went to use another and Cara grabbed an extra. The medical folks warned us that there was only enough for one per runner.... Cara wasn't too happy with that and let them know I was in chemotherapy and that they really should make an exception. :) She ended up using one for herself and gave it to me. :) I showed them my bald head - first time exposing it! They were impressed. :)

When I stopped for the Port-a-pottie again, my calves cramped big time, so much I needed to stop and stretch. I grabbed bananas and had paced out my 3 GU along the course for energy and ate oranges that were offered as well, hoping to help the cramping. Once we got to 24 - I said to Cara... "let's just finish this thing!" She replied "I can do that- let's go!" I asked her if we could make the 4 hour goal and she said we could.... so then I just began to dig deep -- it was easier to run than walk, the cramping started to subside at least for the time being. This is when all the interesting food comes out and there were people with signs that read "Dig Deep - You're Almost There", "Smile if your Horny" and "They ran out of Beer at the finish" - we smiled as people cheered us on and we saw the same groups more than once (I remember specifically the Frog Umbrella people" and the girls with all their costumes and make up! ;) We had fans following us EVERYWHERE on the course. :)

We ran those last 2 miles without walking - a 10 1/2 and a 9 min/mile --- it felt a lot faster than that. Best part we crossed the line with a minute or 2 to spare in making that 4 hour goal. I was elated. It was overwhelming and tears came to my eyes. I did it. I just ran 26.2 miles - in under 4 hours, which is a BQ (Boston qualifier) and I am in the middle of chemotherapy! Any doubters out there are now hushed. It was an amazing accomplishment for me - one I will never ever forget. Spiritually I felt connected and empowered by strength from above. The skies were shining on me!

We got our medal, got a mylar blanket, and headed to the food / water/ gatorade and finisher photos. Charlie found us and walked with us through the volunteers and got our free beer (which I of course couldn't drink because it just doesn't taste that great with the drugs in my body). It was a little tough stepping up on the curbs and walking, but we headed to see our families at the meeting area. Once I saw Steve I was relieved and overjoyed. He hugged me and held me and was so proud. SO was I. I was pretty tired, not real talkative, a bit worn out - my feet hurt (maybe a bit blistered) and I was definitely a little fuzzy! But I was still smiling, so much that my mouth hurt!

The toughest marathon ever?
Yes indeed it was in so many ways both physical and mental. - and now I can write about it and share my strength and joy with all of you!

Next: Post Race - "The DetermiNation Experience"

Here is the mileage data is from my Garmin Forerunner 405

Here is the full detail on this run from the connect.garmin site

Split	Time	Distance	Avg Pace
Summary	03:58:03	26.57	08:57
1	00:07:49	1.00	07:49
2	00:07:33	1.00	07:33
3	00:07:45	1.00	07:45
4	00:07:39	1.00	07:39
5	00:07:46	1.00	07:46
6	00:09:01	1.00	09:01
7	00:07:41	1.00	07:41
8	00:08:11	1.00	08:11
9	00:08:31	1.00	08:31
10	00:08:21	1.00	08:21
11	00:08:19	1.00	08:19
12	00:08:21	1.00	08:21
13	00:08:12	1.00	08:12
14	00:08:04	1.00	08:04
15	00:09:18	1.00	09:18
16	00:08:44	1.00	08:44
17	00:09:11	1.00	09:11
18	00:10:44	1.00	10:44
19	00:08:56	1.00	08:56
20	00:09:34	1.00	09:34
21	00:09:32	1.00	09:32
22	00:10:30	1.00	10:30
23	00:11:48	1.00	11:48
24	00:11:39	1.00	11:39
25	00:10:39	1.00	10:39
26	00:09:06	1.00	09:06
27	00:04:56	0.57	0

This truly was an amazing experience - it is hard to really share in words, but I really appreciate all the comments here, the notes, the cards, the letters, and the comments on Facebook.

Thanks for stopping by - please leave a comment!

The Marathon Experience - Stage 1 (Pre-marathon)

2010-10-15T07:43:00.000-07:00

What an experience! The whole trip from start to finish... It has taken me a while to find the time to write here on the blog, because as soon as I got home it was back to treatment. As time goes by I have been getting more and more tired and it has been harder and harder to keep up on it all and feel well. SO thank you for hanging in there with me. :)

So here is my experience - running a marathon as an elite athlete, still in treatment (2/3 of the way!), dealing with the side effects of chemotherapy and sticking to my goals. I have found so much strength from the training, from the encouragement of my family and friends, that focusing on this marathon has helped me to stay strong.

Chicago Marathon - Pre-race

Riding on the "L"

We love to take public transportation, saving on the environment, seeing the city from the vantage point of a commuter and obviously saving on our budget for the trip! :) Between the hotels, air fare, and meals the trip was a costly one and we put off the planning not knowing how I would feel - so we didn't get any "deals". :) But as a savy traveler, we did pretty well with our room rates and promotions we found at the last minute. :) We stayed at the Airport Hilton the first night after arrival. The flight was non-eventful after the initial negotiation of getting our seats together. The lady was very nice to recind her seat and sit 2 rows back and we were thankful. (I am a very good negotiator - ask Steve!) :) The dinner was less than par at the Karaoke Cabaret bar (I may be mistaken, it sounded like karaoke but they may have paid them - it was pretty bad!) :) We laughed as we went back up to the room to get a good night's sleep. I ran in the hotel parking lot and into the airport parking lots to make a 2 mile easy run that morning, bummed to not be in town to join the DetermiNation group, but happy to get in some mileage and I felt great! Good to have a positive mindset and stretch out those legs! Once we got some coffee and a little breakfast we headed into the city on the "L".

After checking in to the Palmer House that took a little more time than planned we headed out to catch the bus on King Street to the marathon Expo at McCormick Place. Those of you who haven't been to a big marathon Expo truly need to experience the craziness of the 45,000 runners with their families and friends looking at all the latest gear, trends, gadgets and nutrition products of the day. It is pretty crazy! And the stuff is AWESOME! Nike was the sponsor of the official clothing line and they had a huge store of great stuff! I love to get a jacket and Saturday after noon is late to show up and expect your size (believe it! I had to get my Boston jacket from an outside store!) and we were late to meet the team, so we scrambled through and found a Large white track jacket (that I love - thanks to Judy's suggestion). :)

So here it is in more photos....

Cara insisted that we get our photo with Ryan & Sara Hall (Elite Runners - Ryan was predicted to win as a US runner and decided not to race the week prior. Twitter: @ryanhall3 and @sarahall3 -- I had connected to their story on twitter and they are both amazing runners with a passion for helping people. It was so awesome to meet them and funny as Cara & I told my/our story in 1 minute flat! :) "She has cancer, and is still in chemo and we are running as Wonder Woman & BatGirl". As quick as the story was told, you could see their genuine concern and admiration for what I was about to accomplish. :) Here is our group photo! ;)

Then we headed to lunch - all piled in Dave Pittman's van - the "Dream Team" was back together again. It was so great how we only really spent minimal time in the van on the way to the Boston marathon and at the start that we are still so connected.... connected by a cause - through DetermiNation and running - we continue our friendships. :) I love this photo of Charlie, Cara, Steve & I squeezed in the back of the van! FUN!

AT lunch I got to meet and get to know these 2 amazing women - the reason why Charlie & Cara have connected to all of us - Cara's mom (affectionately known as "Mama T") is on the left and is a 2 time colon cancer survivor just finishing treatment in June. Charlies' mom is a breast cancer survivor and single mom raising some amazing children while in the midst of her battle. Both stories were amazing to hear and it was so great to have that bond with these great women!

Then off to dinner - we LOVED the Grillroom that was walking distance from our hotel. Definitely the best meal of the trip and spending time with my #1 guy is always so special. Great service - great food! We will definitely be visiting this restaurant again!

Then back to the room at the Palmer House which luckily had a Starbucks on the street level. We LOVE our Starbucks and I have been perfecting my favorite drink. Currently it is a Non-fat - Triple Shot - Grande - 1 pump Cinnamon Dolche with extra whip cream and sprinkles. :)

Cara was SO thrilled to get her BatGirl costume she wouldn't take the cape off --- I am sure she wore it to dinner that night! :) I laid out my suit and tried it on for size (which it was a little tight as my sister used Cara's measurements :) but it looked great! The look was so powerful and bright! So here is my layout of everything I need all set up and ready to go so I don't have to think in the morning! :)

That is it for now -- I am going to do this in a couple parts as this is treatment week for me and I am truly not feeling so well after chemo and looking for additional energy - so if you have some - send it my way!

Marking the Miles.... In Honor and In Memory

2010-10-09T10:44:00.000-07:00

I have been fortunate to have 45 donors to date contribute to my American Cancer Society DetermiNation fundraising. For the Boston marathon I had a list of people in memory and in honor and carried that list - naming a mile for each person -- the list came from my donors. I have reached out to my donors asking them if they have anyone that they would like me to run in honor or in memory of and below is my list.

Marking the miles with strength and love!
I will also be wearing my red cape and will have ribbons on the cape in memory & in honor of all these amazing people! :) This list will update as I receive names..... :)
In Memory
Mile 1 - Louis Peck - my dad, he passed away after a heart attack at age 63. I miss my dad and find strength from his spirit and love!

Mile 2 -Charles N. Pilling Jr. and Irene M. Pilling. They both died of Cancer. Robin's father had Throat cancer and mother had ovarian, pancreatic and bone cancer. This is my great uncle & aunt (Robin Stoddard)

Mile 3 - Sharon Popp - sister of Louise Popp & Robin Popp

Mile 4 - Mary Beth Reddell - my dear friend from American Airlines past away this June, she was a Hero of Hope and a true hero of mine as the American Airlines volunteer leader for more than 4 years.

Mile 5 - Kathy Doolan - cousin of Sandy McDonald who lost her battle this past February.

Mile 6 - Terry Zahn - Relay For Life Hall of Fame member. The man who created the first Relay video and who truly had a vision for now the world's largest fundraising event supporting the mission of the American Cancer Society.

Mile 7 - Nathaniel Kachadorian - From on of my basketball players at WUHS - Kris Murner - "He was good friend who gave me my first kiss and lost his battle at age 20. His illness directly affected my studies in school where I majored in radiation oncology physics and interned at Norris Cotton at DHMC. A patient interaction changed my career path-- where I realized how much I missed helping people directly-- and I walked away from a PhD acceptance at U of Wisconsin-Madison-- the top program in the country. So I work with nursing schools now-- helping them ensure their students are achieving at the level they need to be in order to pass their boards. I never would have thought that this is what I would be doing- now. I have visited with Nathaniel's parents over the years-- their musically gifted son was a treasure to me. My oldest daughter, Sadie, shares his birthday...something not lost on any of us." (Kris Murner)

Mile 18 - Jane Calvert's Mom

Mile 19 - Jeff Ross' Mom

Mile 21 - Jeanette's Mom & Dad (Douglas McKenna)

In Honor
Mile 8 - MURIEL REDFERN & LOUIS REDFERN -Lynne's Dad had prostate cancer in 2002 but has been clear since the day before Derrick was born. Mom had lymphoma and continues to fight! God bless You Everyday & may he guide you thru this marathon with his strength. I love you, Lynne

Mile 9 - Dario Quiles who is currently in treatmant for liver cancer, and Juanita Ocasio -hoping chemo will shrink tumor eoough to have surgery for breast cancer. (Sandy McDonald)

Mile 11 - Lynne Grazianno Morin - my dear friend who works for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society and I met when she worked at the American Cancer Society --- an amazing woman with an amazing story! She helped me and has continued to be a support for me during this journey. I credit her for recommending Dr. Sean Mullally - who is truly a god - send to me & my family!

Mile 12 - Grampa Ray!

Mile 13: Pat Flynn

Mile 14: Phylecia Wilson

Mile 15: Lynne Peters

Mile 16: All the patients at the Dr Mullally & Rockwell oncology office

Mile 17 - Susan Silodor - my dear friend that I met more than 10 years ago working for the Colorado Division of the American Cancer Society. She has been a true inspiration of strength to me. An amazing cancer survivor!

Mile 20 - Bev Gross - A dear friend, volunteer I worked with in Colorado to bring Relay For Life to NorthWestern Colorado. Amazing fighter and national volunteer turned staff person --- that keeps the fight alive!

Mile 22

Mile 23 - Betty Ma's Father

Mile 24 - Cara's Mom & Charlie's Mom !!!

Mile 25 - 26.2 - Me! 2010 Because I CAN!

More to come! :)

"Don't Let Me Fall" - Photos of the journey

2010-10-08T09:59:00.000-07:00

This is the slideshow I shared at the New England RFL University as I was speaking. This version I put music to it --- and chose this song from my ChiPower playlist - knowing that my family, my friends, my colleagues will not let me fall, would't let this "beast" defeat me - and I would stand (and run) upright all the way through. As I get ready to leave for Chicago I thought I would post and share it as a piece of my journey so far...

Don't Let me Fall - by B.o.B.

Chicago here I come!

When I get home we have treatment Tuesday - Wednesday and recovery on Friday. Let's beat this thing!

Sincerely -
"WW"

Chicago Marathon - Here we come!

2010-10-07T08:44:00.000-07:00

2 days 21 hours to go!
Start time: 7:30 am
Date: 10-10-10 (Schuyler's birthday!)
Location: Grant Park, Chicago IL

What?: 26.2 miles - a marathon - my 27th marathon

Why: Because I can! It hasn't been easy training or actually sticking to this goal after being diagnosed in July, with some doubters out there, people thinking I am pretty crazy (which I may be!) and just the struggles with having chemo all summer long and dealing with how to actually TRAIN for this marathon. I signed up, was diagnosed with cancer, started treatment, figured out that I could still run and train long miles (although - believe me NOT easy miles...) and now the day has come! The marathon will be the ultimate test of my will, my body and my DETERMINATION to live, to run and to complete this distance! Yay!

For the American Cancer Society -- I have raised as of right now - $1809.60 - and our team (Judy & I - "Boston or Bust!) - has raised $3329.60! I am thankful for my friend Judy for encouraging me to sign up for Chicago (before diagnosis) and for sticking with me as I continued the quest in training through treatment. Her support of me has been unfailing throughout this and as a friend for more than 11 years now. She has missed me at the national meetings, calls me almost every day to check in and make sure I am not down or stressed. Laughs with me and cries with me too. :) There have been quite a few true friends that have really shown their light strong through this battle and she is truly one! :) I love having a "team" in DetermiNation, because then it is not always all about you, but also as a team you can celebrate eachother's efforts. And Judy has rocked this one! I also love DetermiNation because it is a chance to make a difference in the fight against cancer and spread the good word of the work of the American Cancer Society. As a participant and fundraiser and volunteer - it gives me such pride to support the organization that I work so hard every day to reach others and promote Relay For Life corporate involvement and the mission of what we do at the Society to fight this dreadful disease that I now have the experience first hand to say that with more meaning and MORE passion. Photo above is one of Judy and I at the Applefest Half in NH when she came to visit in 2009.

You have read about the Dream Team in an earlier post --- well we are getting together on Saturday - which may be the only time I see Charlie because he is SO fast! :) David is bringing cake and Cara and I are going to be partners through this thing..... BatGirl and Wonder Woman! Yes - my sister made the costumes and they are awesome. All lycra, short skirts and insignia and the capes to match. Can't wait to share photos with you all! We are going to get the crowd's attention and are actually planning on bringing a camera for scenic shots!

Although a personal note - I am sharing Cara's response to me trying to get her off the hook from running with me the whole marathon (I really don't want to hold her back because she is SO fast and I will drag her down ....)

Cara Turano September 30 at 3:35pm Report

You are fine! I keep up with you through FB and blog and I have been worried because you seem less vocal. Take your time and I know you are feeling crappy. I am SO glad that you don't have treatment next week - that will make this whole marathon thing a lot easier and you are tough enough to beat this nasty thing without something even nastier hurting you.

As for the race, I am completely disregarding that paragraph! Girl, I have paced other people all summer. I am just as ready to run a 3:30 as I am a 5:20 and I am going to race Huntsville in December. Nancy, Chicago is about giving Steve a 4 hour or so break and letting me be your rock. I figured we could sign autographs and maybe have a fan club when we cross the finish line. :) If we walk, or fly, or skip, or stroll, or cartwheel, you are stuck with me...congratulations to you!! I even bought an eye mask and Charlie is worried about me running in it. I am going with you every step, cowgirl, and I will carry whatever you need to get through 26.2 miles in my utility belt. Did you really think you could get rid of me that easily?? Psshhhhh....I refuse to hear it. I have to many things to tell you and learn from you. We start together and we finish together....PERIOD.

I love you too!! I cannot believe we get to reconvene in Chicago in a few short days...I am gonna be right here every step of the way through the cancer battle and the Chicago Marathon. It is who I am and it is what you deserve.

XO,
C

Wow - that totally had me in tears when I read that note. She is such an amazing person and has sent me cards EVERY week. I feel like we have been friends forever and I really only have spent time with her that one experience at the Boston marathon. Yes - I do NOT have to have the Methatrexate treatment anymore, it was determined that there is not benefit from continuing that after meeting with the medical director at Baystate. A HUGE RELIEF for me in readying myself for this marathon. I feel so much better this week and the taper has been good for me to refuel and regenerate so I am in top/peak condition for a chemo ridden patient running a marathon. :)
Whoo Hoo!

The Schedule:
Friday: 5 PM direct flight to Chicago - staying at the Hilton Airport Hotel
Missing the ACS DetermiNation dinner

Saturday - ACS DetermiNation warm up run is at 6 am which is too early for us to get into town so I am missing that too. I was bummed to get the schedule and see that all the events just didn't fit.
Expo - morning
Meet the Dream Team at the ACS DetermiNation booth at the Expo
LUNCH with the Dream Team!
Staying at the Palmer House on Saturday and Sunday so we will check in after lunch
Lay out clothes and get prepared for the marathon
Rest & relax
Dinner with my sweetie

Sunday:
Early wake up - call Schuyler because it is his birthday! He turns 9!
Meet Cara dressed in Wonder Woman costume.
Check clothing bag with bus
Find Elite B coral
Stretch and ready
7:30 am start - on your mark! get set! GO!
11:30 am finish --- I set my goal to qualify for Boston (even though I have qualified with my Boston 2010 time) - which for my age group is a 4:00 hr marathon. I think it is do-able and with Cara's help and support - it is a slam dunk. But of course I will listen to my body and slow when I need to and honestly will enjoy every mile of feeling alive, hearing the cheers, feeling the strength and just finishing this marathon will be enough for me. :)

Steve will be on the course taking photos and meeting us at spots along the course. We were here in 2007 and he was so wonderful to be there encouraging me, he knows the course and is ready! :)
Find Steve at the finish - go to the ACS DetermiNation tent - CELEBRATE!
Pizza Party for ACS DetermiNation - hope to be there after relaxation at the hotel.

Photos are from 2007 - last time I ran Chicago with a tiger tail and tiger ears in the "heat wave" when they "cancelled" the marathon. 2007 results: Chicago Marathon (3:26:13)- 896 overall - 128 female - 15th in age group

Monday - Recovery day - 10 am flight home! :)
Tuesday - Blood tests and see Doc Mullally
Wednesday - Treatment
Thursday - Treatment
Friday - Recovery day!

Thanks for stopping by -- stay tuned for more updates and photos from after the marathon. IF you wish to track me here is a link and my race number is 4399. Think of me, send me strength and power thoughts! Please leave a comment if you stop by! I read ALL comments and am thankful to all of you for your prayers, concern and love.

Applefest Half Marathon - a TRUE Challenge

2010-09-29T13:47:00.000-07:00

The 28th Annual Applefest Half Marathon

Hollis, NH

September 25, 2010 -- 10 am start

This was my third time competing in this half marathon in 3 years. My friends had always told me what a great half this was to run and I love the foliage time of year to be running long training for a marathon. Fitting this in has been perfect in my training schedule in the past. They reward the top finishers with a free entry to the race and I have been fortunate to have my entry waived 2 years in a row. The race director is awesome, the awards are fruit baskets (of fresh local fruit) and home made apple pies. The post race "meal of apple crisp and great food galore is a grand treat at the finish line! It is truly a fest of Apples! I registered early and the field closes out about a month out from the race, so only serious runnners are there in force. It has a 2 person relay component to it so there are close to 1500 runners that start.

Saturday was a warm day --- temps were in the 80's and the sun was shining bright. We were a bit late leaving the house and pushed our trip to be running late overall. It was a bit stressful, because you have to ride the shuttle bus from the middle of town - it took a little extra just to get to the school. I showed up at 9:50 to get my number and race to the front of the start and meet Steve who had my camera. I love all his photos and shared my faves below.

Runners - ready - set - go! And the gun went off and we were running down the hill to town... I was smiling for Steve and pushing my pace right from the beginning.... untill I felt sick... my legs were heavy... my stomach not so great either.... I couldn't get my breathing and my pace .... I felt horrible... I kept going, but thoughts in my head like I really shouldn't be here, this is crazy, I can't do this, kept going round and round in my head. I kept going thinking I would know when to quit. I felt like quitting, but I could still do it. I saw Steve at mile 2 and was beat. I didn't know if I could keep going for the whole 13.1 -- I was a little freaked out. But I kept going, giving myself a break. SO used to seeing the pace on my Garmin read low 7's for a race that it was really hard to let myself go slow - take a break. JUST FINISH. You can hang out and be in the back, you don't have to be in the front -- I kept telling myself. And then I did just that - I relaxed and gave myself permission to run slow. I paced about 8's on the flats, 9's otherwise and once in a while I hit a 10 minute mile on the hills. I talked to some people along the course and cheered them on. There were a few that helped me relax and breathe too. People are so nice in races --- at least where I was on Saturday! :) Steve came out to the 6 mile mark (probably thought I needed a ride) - and asked if I was ok. He caught me on a downhill, so I was fine! Gave him a quick kiss and kept on going... It was crazy hot for a long race, finishing around noon was not so much fun... I saw Steve again with less than 3 miles to go and was thinking, "do you think anyone knows I have cancer? How hard this is for me? That is am in the middle of this craziness in my life?" We all run our own race, in our own arena -- rarely do you connect with others at these races. But boy I wish I could have yelled my story from the roof tops -- what I had accomplished as I hit the last climb to the finish line. Yay --- I did it. I was ready for my speech!

In perspective, my time was about 20 minutes slower than last year - I was third woman in last year's race. This year I was 10th in my age group and in my mind a much bigger champion than ever! An 8:46 to me was LIGHTING fast - especially during "treatment week". See the full results below.

The doc is right. This chemo stuff is accumulative and the longer I am in treatment the more tired I am going to be. It seems every appointment he asks me if i am still running and I say yes (like there is no other option for me) - It keeps me sane, gives me spirit and I feel alive. I have this goal to do the Chicago marathon and I will finish. But honestly when that is done - I am taking a break! :)

Results from Cool Running!

169 of 889 finishers - Top 20%!

10 out of 48 in age group:   F4549

Overall time: 1:54:44   8:46 min/mile

Nancy Cook             46 F  1256 Belchertown MA

FEMALE AGE GROUP:  45 to 49
Place O'All Time     Name                     Age Sex Race# Hometown                
===== ===== =======  ======================== === === ===== ======================= 
    1    52 1:41:13  Karen McAdam              48 F    1105 Hudson NH               
    2    87 1:44:58  Rebecca Arsenault         47 F     893 Hudson MA               
    3   107 1:46:35  Diane Fowler              47 F      71 Andover NH              
    4   109 1:47:16  Barbara Drislane          45 F    1059 Salem NH                
    5   156 1:51:50  Lauren Barakauskas        46 F     417 Cambridge MA            
    6   158 1:52:05  Pam Triest-Hallahan       49 F     406 Nashua NH               
    7   165 1:52:37  Maggie Ramos              49 F     826 Peterborough NH         
    8   169 1:53:01  Kirsten Vernon            46 F     815 Amherst NH              
    9   182 1:53:43  Julie Kopser              45 F     535 Hollis NH               
   10   195 1:54:44  Nancy Cook                46 F    1256 Belchertown MA

"Just Breathe"

"Not sure who is crazier --- this guy or me?!"

"Less than 3 miles to go at this point --- do you think anyone really knows how tough this is for me? I took off my cap to share my "beautiful baldness"! But boy does that head need a tan!" :)

Headed up the last hill to the finish line -- I love this photo -- I am so happy - so proud that I finished! It was incredible, a tough course, a hot day and I finished even though I am currently in treatment for lymphoma and only 1/2 way through chemotherapy.

My sweetheart, my caregiver, my number one fan (and the best Nancy photographer out there!) At the finish! Everything I do - I do with his support and love. I am truly blessed.

THE Finisher Medal - this medal means so much to me..... I have run only one other race (Mt. Toby) while in chemo. Now only 2 weeks till Chicago -- it has been truly a HUGE challenge for me! My running really helps me to keep my spirit, my sanity, my drive, and my mental state in tact. I am so happy I am in as good shape as I am to be able to sustain my training and continue to pull out these races - despite it all.

Thanks for stopping by --- please leave a comment - I truly appreciate all your support!

Cheer me on at the Chicago Marathon!

10/10/10

10 days and counting!

RCHOP #4 - Making some "head" way!

2010-09-29T09:45:00.000-07:00

Officially we are more than half way there and making "head" way! Funny reference to the head. I thought I would get used to the look, and well I guess I have in my own way been proud of how strong I have been, but it is wearing on me....

I keep the end goal in mind, and think early November the treatments will be all completed! Yay! It is hard to share what this is really like, but I am doing my best to update this blog and keep writing about my experiences. When I don't feel well I really don't feel like talking about it. So much more fun to share happy and strong thoughts, than when I am down, weak, tired and feeling ALL the symptoms of what chemotherapy can bring. Denial is sometimes what keeps me strong, denial that my body will get weak and that the symptoms that are truly bugging me are going to slow me down. OK -- I admit it, I have cancer and the chemotherapy is getting to me! I am so SICK of being sick! I don't like the way I look, my bald head, lack of beautiful hair, sunken eyes, pale face and lack of energy that I know I have deep inside.

This is a late post for RCHOP #4 - as it was last week. Of course having the actual treatment of the "poison" going in your body is one thing, but the reaction to it is another. The accumulative build up of the so far 2 1/2 months is starting to take affect!

Symptoms that are BUGGING me are:

1. Moodiness -- I think I am going to beat someone up. Best I stay home and not let people bother me. I had a few instances last week where I have no patience with people. I have a very short fuse and expect people to be nice to me. If they irritate me I let them know! My friend Jessica says it is the prednisone. Fun times!

2. Tingling of my fingers and toes when I run -- I realize now that the blisters on my feet was actually the fact that I can't feel my feet. The tingling of my fingers when I type is very odd... it is tough to run in the trails as I feel I am going to trip and break an ankle at any step.

3. Nausea & Heartburn - taking pills for this, but really doesn't help much. It could be a lot worse I realize, but my appetite has lessened and I really am eating for fuel right now. When I eat and the heartburn acts up it is nasty - just hurts, and eating is truly no fun. :(

4. Mouth sores -- OK - I thought I would escape this one after going through methatrexate and not having anything, but it is evident with the last cold sore on my lips and the inside of my mouth just burning from whatever food I put inside that they have arrived. I take lysine like I did before and that seems to help, but the burning in my mouth is not going away so fast this time. :( I feel ugly enough as it is without having sores on my mouth.... hopefully it stays internal. :(

5. Exhaustion -- is that a symptom? I nap daily. I get so exhausted late at night I take it out on the people around me (see moodiness above). It is truly tiring to be treated over and over. I get blurry, fuzzy, dizzy --- lack of focus at work and really need to take a break. Which I am planning and have been doing more and more. I really need my rest. So I don't become a BEAR! :)

OK - enough complaining...... thanks for listening.....

___________________________________________

But with all that said -we received week SUCH GREAT NEWS from Doc Mullally with the results from the PET scan! The PET scan showed tremendous results and minimal cancer remains in my body. It works - it's gone! My body is reacting well to the treatment and we are killing the cancer.

Highlights from the Cooley Dickinson report: "No metabolic activity is seen within supraclavicular nodes as was noted previously. No activity is seen within a previously markedly metabolic pericardial node with node previously measured 9x16 cmm and now measures 10x7mm. The spleen previously measured at 16cm in AP dimension is now 12.5! No metabolic activity suggestive of bone involvement. Overall TREMENDOUS response to therapy has occurred with marked reduction of tumor volume & metabolic activity. Mild residual metabolic activity remains. SUV in the spleen has gone from 17 to 3.6.

____________________________________________

Back to RCHOP #4 -- after meeting with the doctor and setting up shop in our usual place with my MAC, my work computer (which I am sorry - I didn't get to work) - my iTouch and iPad with Steve's headphones to listen to Pandora -- got my snacks and set up camp. It has to be a funny sight if there are people in the waiting room to see us pile in to office with our bags ready for the day! :) I downloaded a bunch of new music while they took some blood tests as my Blood Oxygen levels are getting lower (we hope to monitor them for Chicago - so I don't lose too much energy and may need some additional medication to combat). Then listening to music and some new books on the IPad kept me busy throughout to the point where I did not even get a nap. Which is a bummer, because the "Benedryl Nap" is amazing! :)

New nurse in the office (training) -- didn't memorize her name, but she is all smiles and a joy to have in the back. Her fun attitude and light heartedness made my day.

Treatment ended around 4 pm on Monday so we were due back for the shot 24 hours later. My mood was not good and I ended up in tears on the second day - accumulative affect of all of the drugs and time of treatment on my body. I have no patience for "mean" people and just lost it. It was good to talk to Dr Lindsay about it and I have since recovered. :)

Inspirational Shirt of the Day: 2008 Boston Marathon
Charlie says that they are limiting the field to 25K runners so I best figure out if I am going to be in town to run this next year with the Dream Team! :) 2009 was a good year for me, but before DetermiNation and before cancer! My how things have changed in such a short time frame!

Halo Protex Skull Cap --- LOVE this cap --- need to get another black one! :) Wish it came in pink and dark purple... for obvious reasons! :)

Below are some great photos of Dr. Lindsay's cute dog that wanders the office. Her little feet are so quiet and soft and she really has a look of "love".

I love the photo with the patient's bag that says "Keep Calm" -- something I need to do right now, and always. :)

Thanks for stopping by ---- please leave a comment --- I love to hear from everyone!

Thank you to the BU for the flowers & Itunes certificate!

Thank you to everyone for your cards and notes! It truly means a lot to me!

The Dream Team: Dreaming of a Cancer Free World & DETERMINED to make a difference

2010-09-21T08:03:00.001-07:00

The Dream Team?

Dreaming of a cancer free world and Determined to make a difference supporting the mission of the American Cancer Society in the fight against cancer and creating a world with MORE BIRTHDAYS!!

Link to my DetermiNation Chicago Fundraising Page to read more about DetermiNation!

The Fearless Foursome?

A group of 4 that connected and had such a great time pre-race at the Boston Marathon as part of the Boston DetermiNation efforts - For Cara, Charlie & David it was their very first Boston marathon in addition to making a difference raising the dollars to support the mission of the American Cancer Society! Here is the story of some amazing athletes that CARE...

This past spring I ran my 5th Boston Marathon and ran it as a ACS DetermiNation runner (our Charity Runner Program). It was my 3rd time running for DetermiNation and I had raised a little more than $1000. The best part of running is sharing my experiences and meeting new people. I love to meet new friends where ever I run and this was the epitome of it all for me, combining my love for running with my passion in the fight against cancer! We were picked up in the morning by an ACS van driven by a volunteer and all piled into the van --- DP Pittman was there (I had "bumped" into him on Twitter - and we were tweeting friends meeting for the first time). Steve dropped me off and I introduced the crew and hopped in the van headed to Hopkinton that morning. I got to chat with Charlie -- something about his pink hair just makes you want to chat with him and get to know him ---- obviously fighting cancer for a reason! And Cara was there too -- but it wasn't until we unloaded from the bus had the group photo and chatted some more.... The four of us clicked and I gave the tour (being the repeat "customer" at the marathon is definitely a bonus.

We took our photo by the "It all starts here" sign in Athlete's village and did a lot of people watching as we stretched and got ready to head to the corals. Everyone at Boston is "seeded" according to their "qualifying" times. So we all were in different spots for the start. OFF goes the gun and we were headed to Boston. It was so cool as a DetermiNation runner they had people at the finish to escort us to the Park Plaza hotel. So after finishing this clinical study blood test I had volunteered for and then finding my NUMBER ONE fan - my sweet husband Steve.... we found a volunteer and go to the after "party" support. :) There we got to chat with Cara & DP some more - Charlie ran way too fast and wasn't around at the finish party.

So - we all have connected even more through Facebook and now Daily Mile. It truly has been a Dream Team --- we call ourselves the "Fearless Foursome" and all plan to return to Boston and run for DetermiNation once again next April. Since my cancer diagnosis these four have truly virtually been there for me - with encouraging comments and notes and cards too! Cara & I are planning to run in costume (Bat Girl & Wonder Woman respectively -- costumes made by my dear sister!) and we are planning a get together of the crew when we are in Chicago on 10/10/10 weekend!

Photo below: Pancake Breakfast (note i am not in this photo - we missed it. :( ))

Here is a little piece on each of these incredible runners! And if I get to share my story in Atlanta, I hope that they will all be there in person!

*************************** ************************* **********************

Cara Turano

aka: "Batgirl"

Age: 32

Home: Atlanta, Georgia
Chicago #3157 (Elite B)

Daily Mile Profile

2010 Boston Marathon time: 3:18:09 / 7:34 min/mile

Marathons run to date: TBD

Marathon PR: 3:18:09 - Boston!

Favorite Running Quote: The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Hello? Could running a marathon be more about challenge and controversy? How about doing it while on chemo? It is not how you stack up at the start, but your ability to harness the pain and use it to your advantage. My actual favorite running quote is a quote of my own....You say 'you can't...' and all I hear is 'try harder.'

Goal for Chicago (4th marathon?) Support Nancy! Run fast! Have fun!

Special note: Cara is "pacing" me as a support running in the Chicago marathon. Although I will deter her if I run too slow for this speed demon! :) I am running dressed as Wonder Woman and she will be Batgirl. My sister Laura is making our costumes! Such a fun, smiley, happy girl --- you totally want to hang out with her!

Why DetermiNation?

Simply said -Mama T

Photo: Cara's Team in Boston!

Why DetermiNation....I sawa DP Turtle on TV and I knew Mama T would be in between chemo and radiation for her Stage 4 colon cancer. She is such a super supporter of me, I wanted to do something that would honor her. She is my hero (and so are you) and I was running Boston and it was the right thing to do. Mama T and Tom missed NYC when I qualified and that was a tough day because she was recovering from surgery. Boston was a celebration of accomplishments and life! I would not have had it any other way. :)

In Boston, I raised $7500 in just over 5 weeks. It was inspiring for me and I was honored and so was Mama T.

Favorite Marathon Memory....My absolute favorite marathon memory is post NYC last November. I had a PR by 17 minutes and had qualified for Boston without my parents there, but an AMAZING support crew of extended family. I finally found that crew outside of Central Park and called my parents. Mama T was so proud and about 6 weeks from starting her second round of chemo. Her direct quote was "Well, we missed New York, but we will see you Boston. I don't care what my treatment schedule looks like...I WILL be there." I think she hung up after that...talk about determination! We Turano's are a clan....sorry Nancy, now you get ALL of US!

Goal for Chicago....6th marathon and to cross that finish line with Nancy who is on chemo, rock my Bat Girl outfit and maybe get a victory kiss from one Charlie Johnston...

What does Charlie say about Cara?

Charlie Johnston Since meeting in Boston, I have had the pleasure of getting to know Cara as a person and a runner. Her tenacity as a marathoner and DetermiNATION fundraiser is rivaled only by her charming personality and complete devotion to her family and friends. Along with Wonder Woman (Nancy) she is truly among the greatest heroes I've ever had the honor to know.

Charlie Johnston

aka: The Flying Pink Bandit

Age 27

Home: Sparks, Nevada
Chicago #1577 (Elite A)

Daily MIle Profile:

Special note: Charlie has been running for only 3 years!

2010 Boston Marathon time: 3:05:37

7:05 min/mile

Marathons run to date: Chicago will be his 21st marathon!

Favorite Running Quote: "All it takes is all you got." —Marc Davis.

Why Relay? Why Determination?

Cancer first came crashing into my life when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1993, I was 10. I got started volunteering for the ACS in high school through the Relay for Life and eventually captained teams and sat on Relay committees for six years. Boston 2010 was the first time I ran for DetermiNATION. With the help of family, friends, and co-workers we raised about $1,000.

What does Cara say about Charlie? Cara Turano "Wow! He dyes his hair pink and both Mama T and I think he is an amazing young man. Charlie is wonderful and smart and passionate about life. I am lucky to be a part of his life."

Goal for Chicago 10/10/10: Fast! Flat course! PR? Lots of marathons this year, so ANYTHING is possible!

************************** ********************************** ********

"DP" Dave Pittman -

aka: "The Turtle"

Age: 31

Home: Chicago, IL

Daily Mile Profile

Turtles Against Cancer

2010 Boston Marathon time: 3:31:54 - 8:05 min/mile pace

Marathons run to date: TBD

Marathon PR: – 3:28.42 – Bank of America Chicago Marathon, Oct. 11, 2009

ACS DetermiNation or Charity Runner marathons participated: Boston 2010 and many more!

Favorite Running Quote:

2010 Boston Marathon time: 3:18:09 / 7:34 min/mile

Maraton PR: 3:18:09

Why DetermiNation? “Turtles against cancer” is a nod to the parable of the tortoise and the hare, which is a fitting analogy both for David’s running pace and for the ongoing fight against cancer. But that’s not all — “turtles” also refers to a tasty treat you can receive for supporting David. He became a DetermiNation athlete in 2003 as a way to honor his sister, who has fought off cancer since 1988. (Learn more about the story behind “Turtles Against Cancer.”) In 2004, he joined the volunteer committee that recruits, encourages and supports DetermiNation runners and triathletes throughout their training and races. Since he joined DetermiNation, he has raised more than $45,000 to help fight cancer.

Goal for Chicago 10/10/10: Playing the stellar and much needed part of ACS DetermiNation volunteer and "Pitt Crew" for the Dream Team! And YES there will be CAKE at the finish line! :)

****************************** *************

Nancy Cook

aka: "Wonder Woman"

Age: 46

Home: Belchertown, MA
Chicago #4399 (Elite B)

Daily Mile Profile
Mountain of Dreams Blog

2010 Boston Marathon time: 3:23:17 - 7:46 min/mile

Marathons run to date: 26

Marathon PR: – 3:05;59 Boston 2007 - 7th master

ACS DetermiNation marathons: VCM 2009, Marine Corps 2009, Boston 2010 & Chicago 2010

Photo above: Running the last 3 miles of the Pack Monadnock Trail Race which is all UPHILL - the steepest I have ever run!

Favorite Running Quote:

Always remember to keep your eyes forward, lift your feet up, and duck when you have to.....

and if you fall... roll with it, stand up and do all you can to keep going,

because no one is in a better place to help YOU than YOU.

- Nancy Cook - on trail running, cancer survivorship and life

Recent Highlighted results: 3rd master - USAT NE trail running championships - June 2010, 1st in age at the Marine Corps Marathon in November of 2009.

2010 Boston Marathon time: 3:18:09 / 7:34 min/mile

Maraton PR: 3:05:59

Why DetermiNation? (NOTE: I wrote this in Feb 2010)

The program is such a perfect fit for runners like myself --- sign up, make a committment to run and raise money by sharing your story of why you want to fight cancer..... the online fundraising function is user friendly, the Boundless Fundraising tool on Facebook has been a great help and reminder for a soft outreach and the Training Peaks program has truly kept me on track with daily tips and reminders of the miles to run. I recommend the program to anyone that wants to run a marathon, 1/2 marathon or event that DetermiNation is connected with nationwide. Now with the Rock n Roll partnership where ACS will be highlighted - more people will become aware of the program and feel even more accomplishment when they cross that finish line --- to make a difference, create a world with more birthdays, and as I celebrate another birthday in June --- I will again be training, getting stronger and fighting cancer so that others may survive this terrible disease.

Note on 9/2010: Who knew that I would personally get cancer and be fighting it myself -- I was the healthiest person I know. And now glad I am a runner, knowing it helps me be strong, stay balanced, be healthy and continue to inspire others.

This team has been amazing to get to know better in just 5 short months.... We will all be there in Boston - running for DetermiNation once again and continuing to inspire other runners, people who want to be active and just people who want to make a difference. Cheers to some amazing, caring, accomplished runners sharing the good word nationwide.

What does Nancy say about Cara & Charlie?
They are a fun and crazy couple that I love to have energize my life! They both have a sense of energy and humor that really fills the world with Hope & laughter & inspiration. It is because of people like Cara, Charlie & David (and of course Judy too) that I have met and got to know through running that inspire me to be a better and faster me! :)

___________________________________

Special Mention to my dear friend and marathoner who is my team mate for ACS DetermiNation Chicago and my colleague with the National Relay Business Unit - and deserves a special shout out too!

Judy Reichling

aka: The Energizer Bunny

Age: 50

Home: Lawrenceville, GA
Chicago #21212

Need to get Judy on Daily Mile!

2009 Marine Corps Marathon Time : 4:54:28 - Top 56% in age

Marathons run to date: 6

ACS DetermiNation events: 2 (Marine Corps 2009 and Chicago 2010)

Marathon PR: – Grandma's Marathon - 4:46:48.

Chicago 10/10/10 will be my 7th Marathon... Disney 2, 2003 and 2004 , Chicago 2, 2005 and 2006 , Grandma's Marathon 1, 2004 , Marine Corp 1, 2009. I am really 52 :-( .. an old fart! Funny that you called me the Energizer Bunny.. that is what Tom always calls me... I am slow but just keep going and going and going... I run and raise money for Determination for the people that I love and some that I have lost. In particular this year is for Jan, who fought a four year battle against cancer and for my dear friend Nancy who is amazing and fighting her own fight against cancer right now! There are so many others .. Phylecia, Dick, Joy, my niece Laura...unfortunately way to long a list of the people that I care about. I am passionate about my work with the American Cancer Society and about finally bringing an end to cancer!!! My words of wisdom from just last weekend are "don't drink too much the night before and then try to run 20 miles in the Georgia heat"!! It was 85 degrees when I finished.. bleech!! Running keeps me sane. Running is my time to think, plan, relax, and enjoy friends (when running with others). It is an addiction and I love it!

In Summary -

"Why DetermiNation? Encouraging others to get active, stay active and keep the data in order to do the best they can do is a true strength. DetermiNation allows the combination for raising funds for the American Cancer Society mission while setting the high goal of running a marathon and sharing that experience with others. It is like forming your own cheering section in each marathon. And all along feeling like a champion no matter what time you cross that line."
- Nancy Cook, soon to be 4 time ACS DetermiNATION marathon athlete, mom, wife and currently undergoing treatment for Diffuse Large B Cell Lymphoma!

Thanks for stopping by --- please leave a comment below to show your support!

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

2010-09-17T19:09:00.000-07:00

In the 2009 season Steve & I took a trip with Dr Marc Read and his wife Eileen and stayed with Harry in Jackson Hole. It was great because we got to see and spend some time with Suzy Kneeland and her brother Drew and friends. I truly love that area, the mountains and wildlife are amazing. I remember the morning right after breakfast watching a mother moose walk right through the front lawn. The snow was glorious, we took a day trip to Grand Targhee with the crew and got the full affect of enjoying the view of the Grand Tetons. There is an easy trail down from the top of the high speed quad leading you to these trails respectfully named the Good - the Bad - and the Ugly. The trails have meaning to me as I love to ski the steep and gnarly stuff whenever I can. I remember when I first visited Targhee and having my photo by the Ugly sign. It was a VERY tough trail to ski for me back then... :) But this time I skied it with strength and ease.... and with my sweetheart who has coached me to be to strive and be the best I can be.

All great memories, with my sweetie and our great friends we meet where ever we go. So now, that I am "skiing" the steep stuff -- below is my current interpretation of what I am going through...

Photo below: Schuyler - J5 race at Willard Mountain 3/2010

The GOOD

So... getting on to the real meaning of my post --- today was a GOOD day! We went to the doctor for the check up after getting the PET scan yesterday to hear the great news that there is only minimal evidence of cancer in my body. The spleen is back to normal size, blood count is down below 11 (which isn't so good - but ok) --- but this is such great news! The notes from the doctor interpreting the scan was that I am showing TREMENDOUS response to chemotherapy and making great progress. I am strong. I am running. My training is still strong and Chicago is 24 days away! Laura is making our costumes ---- Wonder Woman will be wearing a red lycra running singlet with WW monogram & a 12 inch circle skirt and a little red cape! BatGirl will be in all black singlet & skirt with monogram and ears with the cape (of course). We have our tickets, hotel and can't wait to see Judy & the Fearless Foursome from Boston! Chicago Here We Come!

The BAD

As of last week, my eyes are all swollen, feels like conjunctivitis with swollen eyelids and sty in each eye. It isn't conjunctivitis (just a reaction). They hurt and water up to the point where I can't focus (the computer HURTS! Which is a BAD thing!). Then this week I broke out in hives all over my body. Benedryl and more steroids is the help on the way --- but in the meantime I am not a happy camper. And exhausted (which may be some of the cause here too). In addition my fingers are feeling that tingling feeling mentioned as a side effect (it hasn't effected anything except perhaps my typing. :)) The plan is to get more sleep.

The UGLY

OK - yesterday was a bad day - so bad I started to get ugly (and no I don't have my period). I headed to the hospital to get my PET scan and just really didn't start in a great mood. It was 2 days in a row that we missed the bus and Schuyler honestly hasn't been easy to get to bed or get out of bed and it is all just getting to me. My patience on everything has been wearing thin. Lots going on at work and pressure has been building --- at the same time I have only been running 2-3 miles a day this week and it hasn't actually been enough to keep me sane. Longer is better, believe it! The tech came out and walked me to the room (left Steve behind -she said there wasn't enough room, although the last time he was allowed in for the first part of the testing). Then she gave me a hard time for using my iPad and wanted me to stay "quiet" so there wouldn't be any muscle showing on the testing. The signs in the little closed space were glaring and shared CAUTION, BEWARE, RADIOACTIVE (all unsettling images) and then after she "yelled" at me the second time for sneaking my iPad out - she asked if I wanted music... and then turned on this top 40 crap. Talk about NOT relaxing music! I was pretty pissed at her so the next time she came in I told her to turn off the music. You could say I was a little moody, because she had me in tears. The last time I was here they left me in that room in the scanner and didn't hear me when I called (I let her know that too -- and she took offense right from the beginning). I guess this is hard to explain to give you the full effect, but the last piece was when we asked for the CD of the imaging and she asked us to wait. After 10 minutes I was streaming down tears and wanted to RUN away from that place.

Needless to say we left before getting the disc. My patience was wearing thin and at that time my eyes were swollen twice the size from crying so much.

Then we went to Post Office to send some clothes back that I packed after buying them online and I didn't like them - they are all too big! :( So we got there and the guy says that it is going to cost me $10. Twice as much as it would have cost if I went with the home pick up UPS option. I was ready to walk and he offered me an envelope could pack and it would be $4. So I emptied the box repacked it and went to the other lady. She weighed it and asked for $6. I told her that I swore he said $3.95 and she snapped "NOT IF IT IS IN A PRIORITY ENVELOPE!" --- I snapped back "YOU DON"T NEED TO BE NASTY!" (my negotiation skills were not kicking in so well today) and gave the cash and walked out crying again! ARGH ---- Poor Steve..... he had to put up with my inpatience all morning and just gave me a hug.

I totally needed to go home... I vented.... I got better.... and then when I got the great news today --- it's all good and I feel great once again. They say it can be irritation and moods caused by the steroids (Prednisone).... so watch out! :)

So that is my update --- I have been on a high from all the amazing comments on my video posted below. It was truly an amazing experience. I am on a high now from the results of the PET scan.

Next week I start treatment again on Monday - - meet the new doctor that is going to be handling the Methatrexate portion of my treatment at Baystate on 9/23. Hoping to have a great weekend on the boat, get in a couple long runs, and maybe a little golf, get my brakes fixed, work on the rock and get ready for Schuyler's birthday. :)

Sharing a couple of my latest favorite quotes below:

"I love Tuesdays, almost as much as Wednesdays, better than Mondays, not as good as Thursdays, thinking you can't beat Fridays --- until you hit the WEEKEND! :) Enjoy each and every day!"

-- Nancy Cook, on Life!

'If you have a task to perform and are vitally interested in it, excited and challenged by it, then you will exert maximum energy. But in the excitement, the pain of fatigue dissipates, and the exuberance of what you hope to achieve overcomes the weariness.' - Unknown

Thanks for stopping by --- please leave a comment!

Bald appearance brings on standing O at the NEDIV Relay U!

2010-09-12T07:56:00.000-07:00

Here it is -- I am posting the video of my presentation at the NE Division Relay For Life University.

It wasn't easy, telling my story for the first time. I had a tough time practicing it, with the tears welling up in my eyes and having a hard time finding a flow for a 7 minute --- "let me tell you my life and stress" - presentation. Although Steve is quick to remind me that I do like to talk about myself. :) I had all kinds of great ideas, all kinds of wonderful thoughts, humorous thoughts and had my written notes and bullet points there to get it down so I could get it out and hopefully be well received. I was thinking that I wanted more audience participation (so they don't fall asleep - kidding), but you never know how that is going to go, so I built it in and even if it went off just a little I thought it would be good to have that interaction. But then it was about the story and the humor. So again, here it is, I didn't get in as many as the fun things as I had hoped and rushed the beginning, it was a little all over the place, but as Steve said when we watched it later, as soon as the hair came off - - I seemed to relax and it got better from there. :)

I hope you enjoy the presentation --- Personally it is pretty funny to watch yourself speak and see the shake in my voice and hands --- but it wasn't too bad for the first time EVER sharing my story with around 400 people, a few I know, most I don't know.... I know there are quite a few things I will change for next time, and I am sure it will be a much smoother presentation and hopefully I will get in more of the pertinent points and not wander so much and get into the details that may not be needed.

It was so great at the end with such great people giving me hugs and encouragement. Sue Ann was fabulous in her position as VP of Relay in New England putting on such a great Relay U. She was there for me a midst all of the craziness of coordinating the successful event -- I thank her for that and for asking me to share and hopefully inspire others.

It was good to see and meet some amazing volunteers there too. Dick, Laura, Gordon, Ben, Mark, Mary Kate, Lynn, Bob A, Dan, Susan and more! To be there and feel the passion of all these volunteers making Relay a HUGE success in New England is truly and inspiration to me!

Please don't forget to leave a comment if you stop by!

Some other photo highlights from the event below:

Me with Don & Peg (CEO & COO of NEDIV)

Sue Ann, Judy, ME and Kelli

Steve & I on stage after the presentation

(note Steve holding onto my hair that I inadvertently left on stage) :)

NEDIV Speaking Notes: "I am a Survivor"

2010-09-10T07:39:00.000-07:00

EMCEE:

When it comes to the fight against cancer not all of us have been hit directly by cancer; however, we all have taken the stand that we will rise above cancer until it is defeated.

In the words of Vince Lombardi, “It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get back up.”

And now someone who has done just that …Nancy Cook... a team captain from the Quabog Relay in Western MASS, National Director of the National Corporate Team Program, whose 16 year career with the Society began in New Hampshire.

ME:
Thank you everyone.

As a top competitive master athlete in the New England area being on the top of my game is something I am very proud of…. I am poised to fight back. I pride myself on listening to my body in training. When I found a lump in my stomach in mid June my body fat was right around 16% and you can feel everything! My amazing husband Steve pushed me to go to the doctor and by the time I went in for the biopsy my spleen had doubled in size and at that time we were told that I had cancer. It was crazy. I had just placed 3rd in my age at the USAT New England Trail Running Championships, and was racing every weekend. Before that in in 2007 I was 7th master at the Boston marathon finishing in 3 hours and 5 minutes. And in 2009 I won my age group at the Marine Corps Marathon. I was the healthiest person I know. You don’t want to piss me off! My family, my friends, my co-workers were all floored when I told them the news – it was stage 4 Lymphoma. And me – I was in denial ---- with my daily routine of running long miles, balancing my family life, my work and all our sporting activities, there is no time for cancer.

I am a survivor.

It hit me hard and I was full of questions – Is it curable? What did I do wrong? Will I die? What is chemotherapy anyway? Can I work? How long before the cancer is out of my body & how long before I am bald? How will my eight year old son Schuyler react and cope with a sick bald mother? I did know one thing - I don’t like being sick.

You may wonder what is like not having hair. I sure did. It was scary and I had tears in my eyes as my husband shaved my head right around the 2nd chemo treatment - after pulling out clumps of hair it was definitely time. But I am now sporting the Olympic swimmer look as I water-ski and appreciate the aerodynamics when I run. I just hope it doesn’t come back gray! And fun times ahead if it comes back blonde!  My colleagues asked that I have photos taken of me at the “wig salon” with all the different styles of hair so they all could vote! We all had many laughs looking at the Nancy show! I miss the sweat absorption properties of hair and the extra padding. One day while trail running I hit and bruised my head on a tree branch... came up with some great quotes that day, but OUCH!

I am a survivor.

Now in the middle of it all I am in the midst of fighting back. I am ½ way through my chemotherapy treatment. OK – almost ½ way there…. But I am counting the days! Fighting back through inspiration, hope and humor…. I look for hope everywhere – after facing that moment that my life could have been taken away & having to share that scary feeling with my family – it IS all about HOPE. And once you have HOPE you can share hope and if you inspire others, they can in turn inspire you. The doctors gave me HOPE that I could still “run” the Chicago marathon, which will be my 27th marathon. I had signed up and am raising money for ACS through DetermiNation. Doc Mullally did say it is a little freakish – but seeing my fitness level and drive, he says it is possible – of course that was right after he called me a “beast” (in a nice way of course).. So now it keeps me going – keeps me pushing – and in my intense way of doing things – keeps me fighting back - strong. I am running in a Wonder Woman costume, alongside a friend who will be dressed as Batgirl – if not just to make a statement, but for inspiration and crowd appeal. I will run that marathon. I will finish.

I am a survivor.

I recently attended the UTC East Hartford Relay For Life and had the opportunity to walk in my first survivor lap – and wear my first sash & purple shirt! It was more amazing than I ever imagined. Needless to say I love Relay more than ever.. My husband Steve in his caregiver sash remarked that “we” have not finished chemotherapy, so are you a survivor yet?” My response? I lived to see another day right?

Yes – I am a survivor!

So just remember:

No one can hold you back from doing all the things you want to do. Just keep your goals in sight, listen to your body and take one day at a time. Some days will be better than others, but every day is a blessing – so make each day the best it can be.

I am a survivor.
I am fighting back.

Telling my story --- >>> Take 1

2010-09-09T08:15:00.000-07:00

Not sure how many may see this post as it is a rehearsal for my presentation on Saturday for those that may be attending the Summit in Springfield.... but for the most part I think I am safe, not knowing the traffic to my site from local Relay leadership.

This is a practice of my speech --- which really didn't go so well in my mind.

But it is a first try, so I hope to get better. Gotta love Photo Booth! :)

I wish I could be just a little funnier..... :) I will keep practicing. :) It was hard to do and honestly I was fighting the tears when I watched it back --- so try try again.

My notes for NEDIV Relay U Closing

Celebrate Birthdays

Audience Participation = Fight Back

My 46th Birthday

Lump discovery

Athletic Achievements

Cancer Diagnosis

Hope plus Humor = Healing

Quote:

"It IS all about HOPE... and once you have HOPE

you can share HOPE and if you inspire others, they can in turn inspire you."

Losing your Hair

Being Bald

Many Looks - The Pirate Cap

Don't stop - keep pushing, keep running

Chicago Marathon

"Freakish"

Survivorship

UTC Relay

Caregiver

Quote:

"No one can hold you back from doing all the things you want to do. Just keep your goals in sight, listen to your body and take one day at a time. Some days will be better than others, but every day is a blessing. - so make each day the best it can be. "

Playing around with Photo Booth this morning -- some self portraits getting ready for my rehearsal. :)