It's NOT about the shoes.... or the skis.... or the bike...

Have you read Lance Armstrong's book "It's Not About the Bike?"  --- I read it back in my bike racing days (Cat 4-5 in Killington in the 90's).  If you haven't you should.  It is really inspirational his journey with testicular cancer and all of his challenges that he overcame throughout that time in his life.  I didn't know then what I know now - about what it is like to have such a challenge in your life, although everyone can relate to his story and feel it.  The lesson I have learned now going through this "cancer" is that it isn't about what shoes you have on your feet (although my Nikes rock!  and my new Inov-8 trail racing flats are amazing!), and it isn't about the skis (I really really want some World Cup Slalom Rossi's --- I know I will ski better!) and it isn't about the bike (my mountain bike is just wrecked - in the garage and barely makes it to the bottom of the driveway).  It is about your heart, your will, your desire and your determination to be what you want to be and accomplish all that you want to in your heart.


My favorite Lance Quotes below:   (these have been a great sense of strength for me)  


"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever. That surrender, even the smallest act of giving up, stays with me. So when I feel like quitting, I ask myself, which would I rather live with?"
— Lance Armstrong (It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life)


"What ever your 100% looks like, give it."
— Lance Armstrong


"This is my body, and I can do whatever I want to it. I can push it; Study it; Tweak it; Listen to it. Everybody wants to know what I am on. What am I on? I am on my bike busting my ass six hours a day; What are YOU on?"
— Lance Armstrong


"What is stronger, fear or hope?"
— Lance Armstrong (It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life)


"Knowledge is power, community is strength and positive attitude is everything"
— Lance Armstrong


"For most of my life I had operated under a simple schematic of winning and losing, but cancer was teaching me a tolerance for ambiguities."
— Lance Armstrong (It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life)


With that said --- I am training for the Chicago marathon - 53 days and counting....  Being diagnosed in the middle of setting this goal to run Chicago made me think maybe I shouldn't run.  My athletic history is on the sidebar here --- and this will be my 27th marathon and my 4th in less than 2 years....  When I was diagnosed, I was in the best shape of my entire life, running faster than ever in my masters.  Completely on a runner's HIGH.  My mileage for those  2 weeks was really low, with the sick feeling of that lump in my stomach and the stress of not knowing what was wrong... but then when we talked to Dr. Barnes & Dr. Mullally --- I had so much hope, that it is truly possible to "finish".  Maybe not my best marathon (at this point  a 3:05 is pretty hard to beat!) - but I could still do it.  Just listen to your body & rest when you need to.  Yesterday knocked me over --- flat on my bad, achy, chills, headaches, fever, back pain, dehydration, blurry vision --- it had me in tears.  I haven't felt that bad -----ever.  At least that I can remember.   What to do? Rehydration, tylenol, rest & meditation and a lot of prayer (thanks everyone)....

And now - I feel better today.
Ran this morning.
Feeling on the "upswing"

Last week we hosted these 2 - 21 year old coaches from England for Schuyler's Challenger Soccer Camp in Amherst.  I was nervous and Steve wasn't sure we should take on the extra burden, especially since it fell within "treatment week" - but I pushed and thought it would be a good distraction, great for Schuyler and some good energy to have at the house.  We showed up on that Sunday to pick up a coach, ended up hosting 2 coaches (Matt & Dom) and had an amazing week.  I had a great routine going to get their breakfast & lunch stuff out in the morning - and then dinners each night.  It was so fun for Schuyler!  We got out on the boat twice and included Coach Marian from Brazil.  What a great week.  :)  Here is a link to some of my fave tubing shots for a "hair flip" post on my other blog.  And they got used to me "bald" with my hat on and switching back & forth to my blonde "look" too.  :)  I wore my bathing cap on the boat - boasting my Olympic Medalist look.  :)  Here are some "ME" shots from our adventures on the boat (the ski photos Samantha took 2 weeks ago)....

No Mt Hood for us :(

So they say it is rapid growing....  this Diffuse Large B cell lymphoma....   From all the research the earlier you treat it the better your "chances" of being cured --- that is to have it GONE and stay GONE!  So no Mt Hood vacation skiing on the glacier, watching Schuyler ski, skiing with Steve, chasing gates (getting slanmmed with slalom gates - OUCH) --- and enjoying the beauty of Oregon in the wine country...  Oh well... I need to get on this right away.  Steve is so happy I came to my senses as was the doctor, but GOOGLE gave me quite a scare and we needed to make the decision to stay home and this would give Reed a chance to still get on another flight and all the kids informed before we go out there and I dwell on the fact that we didn't start treatment.



Dave Gregory has been absolutely amazing, supportive and understanding. We have 5-6 kids total that were going to the camp and we really really wanted to be there.  Here is a pic of the Fuxi truck at the ski area at Mt Hood.  :(  They have got a lot of snow up there recently and in addition to the normal lanes of skiing gates there is plenty of free skiing to be had!  :(


Link to the Peak Performance Ski Camp.  

Oh well maybe next year....  or maybe Thanksgiving....   we shall see.....  We called the ticket agency that we got the cheap tickets ($500 plus x 4) - and hoped they would consider the situation.  After a little over an hour this really great woman I talked to (Katrina) who's dad also had recently gone through cancer treatment was so empathetic she worked a discounted cancellation fee and left a note as it is up to the airlines on the $150 rebooking fee for the future.  We have until May 2011 to use the tickets.  All pretty good news and much better of course than losing the money (which we would have if we didn't call and cancel).  Again - another great person that has helped and been understanding we are thankful for...