It's NOT about the shoes.... or the skis.... or the bike...

Have you read Lance Armstrong's book "It's Not About the Bike?"  --- I read it back in my bike racing days (Cat 4-5 in Killington in the 90's).  If you haven't you should.  It is really inspirational his journey with testicular cancer and all of his challenges that he overcame throughout that time in his life.  I didn't know then what I know now - about what it is like to have such a challenge in your life, although everyone can relate to his story and feel it.  The lesson I have learned now going through this "cancer" is that it isn't about what shoes you have on your feet (although my Nikes rock!  and my new Inov-8 trail racing flats are amazing!), and it isn't about the skis (I really really want some World Cup Slalom Rossi's --- I know I will ski better!) and it isn't about the bike (my mountain bike is just wrecked - in the garage and barely makes it to the bottom of the driveway).  It is about your heart, your will, your desire and your determination to be what you want to be and accomplish all that you want to in your heart.


My favorite Lance Quotes below:   (these have been a great sense of strength for me)  


"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever. That surrender, even the smallest act of giving up, stays with me. So when I feel like quitting, I ask myself, which would I rather live with?"
— Lance Armstrong (It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life)


"What ever your 100% looks like, give it."
— Lance Armstrong


"This is my body, and I can do whatever I want to it. I can push it; Study it; Tweak it; Listen to it. Everybody wants to know what I am on. What am I on? I am on my bike busting my ass six hours a day; What are YOU on?"
— Lance Armstrong


"What is stronger, fear or hope?"
— Lance Armstrong (It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life)


"Knowledge is power, community is strength and positive attitude is everything"
— Lance Armstrong


"For most of my life I had operated under a simple schematic of winning and losing, but cancer was teaching me a tolerance for ambiguities."
— Lance Armstrong (It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life)


With that said --- I am training for the Chicago marathon - 53 days and counting....  Being diagnosed in the middle of setting this goal to run Chicago made me think maybe I shouldn't run.  My athletic history is on the sidebar here --- and this will be my 27th marathon and my 4th in less than 2 years....  When I was diagnosed, I was in the best shape of my entire life, running faster than ever in my masters.  Completely on a runner's HIGH.  My mileage for those  2 weeks was really low, with the sick feeling of that lump in my stomach and the stress of not knowing what was wrong... but then when we talked to Dr. Barnes & Dr. Mullally --- I had so much hope, that it is truly possible to "finish".  Maybe not my best marathon (at this point  a 3:05 is pretty hard to beat!) - but I could still do it.  Just listen to your body & rest when you need to.  Yesterday knocked me over --- flat on my bad, achy, chills, headaches, fever, back pain, dehydration, blurry vision --- it had me in tears.  I haven't felt that bad -----ever.  At least that I can remember.   What to do? Rehydration, tylenol, rest & meditation and a lot of prayer (thanks everyone)....

And now - I feel better today.
Ran this morning.
Feeling on the "upswing"

Last week we hosted these 2 - 21 year old coaches from England for Schuyler's Challenger Soccer Camp in Amherst.  I was nervous and Steve wasn't sure we should take on the extra burden, especially since it fell within "treatment week" - but I pushed and thought it would be a good distraction, great for Schuyler and some good energy to have at the house.  We showed up on that Sunday to pick up a coach, ended up hosting 2 coaches (Matt & Dom) and had an amazing week.  I had a great routine going to get their breakfast & lunch stuff out in the morning - and then dinners each night.  It was so fun for Schuyler!  We got out on the boat twice and included Coach Marian from Brazil.  What a great week.  :)  Here is a link to some of my fave tubing shots for a "hair flip" post on my other blog.  And they got used to me "bald" with my hat on and switching back & forth to my blonde "look" too.  :)  I wore my bathing cap on the boat - boasting my Olympic Medalist look.  :)  Here are some "ME" shots from our adventures on the boat (the ski photos Samantha took 2 weeks ago)....

Self Portrait: One Tough Chick

Although I am  not feeling well at all today -- I find such inspiration in the cards and notes that everyone has been sending me.  It is so nice to hear from everyone and when the mail comes --- I smile and feel such love and hope from all my friends and family.  I received today a really cool cap from Joyce (One tough chick) --- following my GI Jane theme....  and this awesome card from Amanda and her kids ----

It is the bald theme lately, as the "blonde hair" is hot and a little itchy and uncomfortable to wear all the time...  I got these really cool caps made from Halo from Road Runner Sports (made for runners to keep the sweat out of their eyes) and I think they are so awesome and comfortable and I don't have to look at myself bald in the mirror.  It is such an odd look to see yourself with NO hair -- with a tan face and a white skin bald head.  We did shave it down a little more despite warnings of infection, but it looks so much better.  

Experiencing a fever and "migrane" like headaches last night and this morning was completely debilitating.  First time I have felt that bad through this whole thing.  I try to sleep and rest and just can't relax to get rid of it completely -- hoping that with some rest tonight I will be better in the morning.  Hoping chocolate chip cookies will help!  :)  I really don't like going to the doctor -- hate admitting that I am at all weak.  So back to hydration and eating whatever food will hopefully give me some energy and get some extra needed rest.

Back to the NO hair theme --- loved the cards today!
"If people ask why you're wearing a SCARF on your head and you say it's because you're a pirate...  They'll have NO follow up question!"  :)  (From Eden, Maren LaKier)  :)

Advantages of Losing Your Hair:
1. Elimates Bed Head
2. Can be a "Shining" Example to others
3. No Need for expensive hair products
4. Takes off years, because you look more like your baby photo.
5. Gray hair?  What gray hair?  :)
And the number one advantage of losing your hair...   More places to be kissed.  :)
(From Joyce)

Love it!

Here is my self portrait photo below.  The photography challenges have me working on my photog skills and this is one of the exercises.

After 2 rounds of CHEMO and getting ready for the Mass General Trip next week -- 2 - 10 hour days in the hospital -- not looking forward to it, but I am sure we will get through it fine.

I am adding on to this with a few more of my self portrait pieces.  They all just look better in black & white (and not with a smile) --- must be my mood.  It was fun to play with the photo editing to add some extra affect to these photos.  :)

 Thanks for stopping by - please leave a comment! I love to hear from all of you!

Are you ready for this? :) 61 days...

Quote of the day: 

“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy shit…what a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

Power Song of the Week: 

"Don't Let Me Fall"  by B.o.B.

I was up so high looking down at the sky - don't let me fall

I was shooting for stars on a Saturday night

They say what goes up must come down, 

But don't let me fall...

Weekly Vitals: 

98/60 = BP

66 = pulse

141.5 = weight

98.6 = temp

Still 5'6" (darn I thought I would at least gain an inch!) :)

Blood levels = 11.8 (normal 12)

Photo:  My finish at Mt Wachusett in June

Training

(Gotta love Daily Mile & my Garmin 405 = motivation from new & old friends!)

July 19 week = 35 miles

July 26 week= 48 miles

August 2 week = 52 miles 

Longest run = 8/2 = 18.2 miles

Trail pace 10 min/mile

Road pace 8.5 min/mile

Racing Targets

Never give up! BUT always listen to your body!

Mt Toby (MA) 14 miler - 11 days

Race to the Top of VT = 19 days

Applefest (NH) 1/2 marathon = 46 days

Leaf Peepers 1/2 marathon  (VT) (tentative) = 53 days

Chicago Marathon = 61 days 

Chicago Marathon Plan!

Have Fun!

ACS DetermiNation fundraising efforts - $276 of $1000 goal met to date

ACS DetermiNation schedule of events TBA

Elite B coral with Cara

Costumes! 

 I am Wonder Woman & Cara is Batgirl!  (Capes and all!)  My sister Laura is in process of making our costumes RIGHT now!)  How FUN is that!  :)

Judy joined Team Boston or Bust!  :)  Thanks Judy! 

Charlie will be there -- will he have pink hair again????

DP Turtle (aka David Pittman) is bringing CAKE!  :)

Staying at the Marriott with my love!  Going to Bin 36!  My fave Chitown restaurant

We are all so excited for Chicago --- I am watching my blood levels and my body response to training and so far so good!  :)  Chicago is one of my favorite flat and fast marathons.  Just need to watch the heat!  But of course with my new friend / elite runner Cara is sacrificing a PR to pace me --- so I will have a personal race monitor.  I am so lucky to have the support of so many runner friends and ACS colleagues and volunteers at this race - it WILL be the best marathon for those and many other reasons!  Yay!

Posting here the prototypes for Batgirl and Wonder Woman! 

Also my latest ChiPower Playlist!

RCHOP Round 2 Treatment Day 1: The Patient that would never leave...

Marathon day at the doctor's office for Treatment Round 2 of the RCHOP regime.  We knew it would be --- getting all the meds in one day takes a long time.  We showed up at 9:30 and prepped waiting in the office, not to linger too long Doc Mullally got us in the treatment room to hook up the meds and caught up with us later.  Glad he did or we would have been there until 6!

We had our computers in hand and I caught up on some work emails, farmed my crops on Farmville and blogged a little sharing some of my latest photography.  I really need to read up on the book and take a class (planning an online class in Sept) --- I think that to know my camera would get me to a level of even better photography!  My friend Shelley is now designing a new cool watermark for me to use on my photos and I can't wait to see what she comes up with!  My new photo blogging friends have been so supportive of my work and have even ventured here to check up on me and my "journey" of cancer treatment.

I forgot my Nano so I connected to Pandora on my Ipad and fell asleep for almost 2 hours in the treatment room after everything got a little fuzzy on the computer.  Love the new function to harvest crops on my Ipad (very cool for all you farmers out there!) -- Yes YOU too need an IPad, they are very cool and SO fast.  :) Pandora radio is so cool too - you venture off into artists that are like the artists you like and select.  Off into sleep world I went and I needed it.  We have been so busy with our British visitors and Schuyler soccer camp #3 this week.  My life hasn't slowed down much at all!

Wore my "new blonde hair" today --- and all the office staff just loved it --- I showed them the cute slide show and voting arena on Twitpoll that I have set up.  SO fun.  Thinking again I may just have to highlight it when it comes back after all the great comments.  :)

MY inspirational shirt for this treatment was the Vermont City Marathon shirt from 2009.  This was my first marathon to run as a REAL elite with all the treatment.  More on that story here.  I ran a great race - not as fast I would have hoped, but still pretty great!  Raised $1100 for ACS and met a lot of amazing people!  It was my third VCM and hope to do it again as it is in my home town area and a lot of people I know run it every year as a full marathon or in a relay.  Great race --- the water, the kettle drums on the hill and a great expo and post race celebration!  Great memories there.

I am going to fill out my story for the Chicago Marathon media team and hope to be selected to be highlighted.  Chicago is only 61 days away! Also pitch a story to Coping Magazine (link on side bar) -- that was a great find -- if you haven't seen it check it out.  My friend Keith sent me an article about a woman blogger sharing her story and noted that I could have written that story.  Her blog is great too --- it is also on the side bar.  And most important to me I have shared my story with all my ACS colleagues, past and present, Relay, Employer, New England and more...  It has been so incredibly supporting to have such a "family" of support where I "work" and have so much passion for what we do as a Society.  I sent a note to our Corporate Communications and hope to be selected at some point to share my story on stage.  If it is this December I hope my friend Cara will join me as we can be up there as Wonder Woman & Bat Girl!  How fun would that be?  I will keep you posted and also share more on what we have in store for running Chicago IN COSTUME!  :)


As you can see we were there the entire day and had the place all to ourselves at the end of the day.  I was remembering the days as a waitress when you had that table in the corner that would NEVER leave...  so I made jokes that we were going to stay the night...  and when we finally left, I said "OK - you can all go home now".
What a LONG day!  We were all exhausted and stiff when finally getting up and out of that chair!

Thanks for stopping by --- here are some pics of me in treatment with the wonderful nurses in the back.  We love this office and are so blessed to have found these great doctors and nurses for some incredible support.

Please leave a note if you stop by!

The Many Looks of Nancy

Jeff & Judy asked if we would take my photo with the many wigs that I tried on at the Pink Petal.  Check out the slide show and you can vote on your favorite!  Comment here and let me know what you liked and didn't like.  There were many that we did NOT like.... so I will not be offended.  It was fun to try on all the looks!  :)

Free slideshow generated with Smilebox

 

VOTE TODAY!  :)

Tshirt Sayings of Empowerment & Strength

Thanks for stopping by and checking in.... I am doing much better this morning, last night was rough.  Schuyler had a tough reaction to my wig and lack of hair.  He really wanted me to hang on to that short tuff of hair (that was FALLING out and was too much for me to manage).  We calmed him down, let him cried, cried with him a little and talked to him about when the hair will come back and that we can get a wig that will help mommy look like mommy again. He wasn't so keen on the blonde wig.  But I explained to him it could be so much worse, I could feel really sick.  I could be incapacitated and not be able to do the things I love to do.  But it is tough not having hair, I don't want to look "sick" - I want to be normal.  Having no hair is not normal.  But --- the new "hair" is fun in its own way --- I just need to get used to it.  I am ordering some beanies from Road Runner sports that will help being able to wear hats  - - and hopefully bring a little more normalcy to the house.  Be strong - it won't be long....  I will have hair again.  I just need a little strength sometimes, and prayers, and need to cry, just to get it out......  and keep healing.

Back to something fun....

Here is another post from the Pink Petal and there will be a few more to come.... but this is dedicated to all the tshirts that Donna has on sale at the Pink Petal.  I smiled, felt empowered, felt warmth and felt strong as I looked at all she had to offer.  I love to take photos of fun and empowering shirts on my other blog,(LINK HERE TO Tshirt sayings on Mountain of Dreams) and thought how cool it would be to share with you all these shirts and what they have to say about fighting cancer and have some fun with it!  A little humor goes a LONG way.  These shirts have been worn at senior centers, shopping malls, Relay For Life events and just give the battle a whole new look!

Mostly these are for females & breast cancer survivors, but they have such a strong message!  Please leave a comment and tell me which one is YOUR favorite?  :)

Enjoy!  :)  And smile!  :)

Gone Blonde!

 I have found that if you love life, life will love you back ♥

It has been an emotional day.  

Great doc appointment with Dr. Mullally this morning, blood tests ---- getting ready for RCHOP #2.  Organized my treatment schedule and took the day off from work and from running.  Rest is so important for health.  Right up there with nutrition and hydration!  

So here is a little ditty --- I am Happy it is Friday, I am Happy my LUMPS are gone, I am Happy & in love more than ever with my sweet husband who shaved my head today!  

HAPPY

H = Drinking water is so important for healing    Hydration = Healing

A = Alpurinol = drug that helped the "junk" get out of my kidneys

P = Prednisone = Bananas really help the cramps & side effects from this drug

P = Pink Petal = Donna is amazing!

Y = Yes, I AM ALIVE and kicking harder than ever!

We did NOT have a shaving party --- so I am bringing the experience to you on Smilebox (trying it out for the first time and Hoops & Yoyo is my fave).... SO here you go.  My sweet husband Steve has been there through all the tears and smiles and anguish and anxiety and has truly helped me tough this thing out!  Enjoy it --- freaky for me to experience, and my head feels like a pin cushion of stubble.....  really hard to explain and no you don't really want to experience this.  I definitely never wanted to --- but here I am larger than life in my own slideshow.

(Experiencing technical difficulties - found out Smilebox does not work on Safari)  Will post before / during / after photos below too.  :)


Hit the green arrow to go forward and escape to finish the show.  Hoops & Yoyo have their own routine.
Enjoy!  hee hee

This digital slideshow created with Smilebox

I cried a couple times and getting used to the wig, bangs in my face, wondering if everyone looking at me knew I was wearing a wig.  I think I fooled a couple people that I just got my hair colored and I really believe they don't know it is a wig.  Crazy.  Getting used to the stubble on my head is very weird indeed....   

Steve has been the most amazing caregiver!  This is true love when he can actually shave my head and then just absolutely love my new hair !!  He can't take his eyes off me... :)  

Truly - Madly - Deeply

In every sense of the words! 

More photos of todays experience..... highlights from the show!

Before

During: 

After!

Please leave a note if you stopped by!  Hope you like the new me!  Or at least the new me for the next 6 months!